Fluorescent Sunglasses

Hey guys, happy Wednesday! The week is ALMOST over, which is all at once exciting and a little bit frightening. There's always plenty to do, but this week has just felt extra busy.

I hope your Wednesday has been swell, and that you are just as excited about tomorrow as you are about the weekend! I, for one, am getting more and more nervous as next Wednesday approaches.

I am a part of the creative writing journal staff on my campus, and the newest issue of the journal comes out next week. And as SUPER DUPER pumped as I am about it arriving, all bound and beautiful, I'm quite nervous about its release...Because I sort of did something crazy.

You see, I have this terrible fear of public speaking. I know, I know...it's something I need to get over. But there's just something about standing up in front of any number of people that makes me turn red and get super nervous. I don't know if it's because everyone is staring at me, or maybe because I fear I won't be heard, but it just drives me crazy.

And, as you probably have guessed, I agreed to some public speaking. Or, public reading, that is...

WHHYYYY?!?!?!!! I cry in agony. What could possibly possess me to agree to something like this? I don't know; however, whether it's crazy or not, I agreed to it, and now I have to go through with it. But I can tell you right now it's going to be on my mind all week.

Standing in front of a crowd (given, it will be a fairly small "crowd"), reading something I wrote (even worse-ack!), feeling all eyes and ears turn towards me to listen...whew, this will be an interesting event. But, I'm going to try to be brave, if you could call it brave, and not let my mind get to me. Because that's really all this fear is. A mind game...a mind game that I just have to beat.

I know no one will be thinking about the words I said after I leave the podium, and no one will really remember what I spoke or how I spoke after the event is over, but in the moment, it's a little scary. So I'll be brainstorming ways all week to make it less scary, more do-able, and more enjoyable.

Okay, maybe not.

But I'm hoping to find some bravery this week, and I hope you find some, too. I hope you have an excellent evening, you fluorescent sunglasses, and see you tomorrow!