Minty Coffee Pods

Hey bloggers. I should be doing homework, but I'm writing to you instead because I can't focus, and because it makes me not think about all my responsibility.

Today, I worked...meaning I taught a tutoring session. And let me tell you guys-I LOVE my job. I love it so much. Today, drawing on the chalk board and excitedly explaining the concepts covered in class, helping people understand...I don't know why that excites me so much. But I had a blast, and it made me really happy that I did take on this extra, time-consuming stress. It gives me life.

Anyway, what doesn't give me life is the amount of homework that I have. Which I really should be getting back to.

Today, my focus was on regular prayer. I'm trying, so hard, to get back into the habit of a never ending prayer. Sounds weird, right? But it's not...it's the feeling of keeping God's light on mind for the day; trying to keep Him in my thoughts throughout everything, in every moment. Because if His presence is always there, so is peace. And if His presence and His light is on my mind, I'm more likely to show His love to everyone around me. And that should be my intention.

My prayer today is that I am more intentional with my actions...that I don't let my day slip into meaningless monotony. And while I'm about to return to the monotony of homework, God's grace is on my mind.

I love you all, and I wish I had more time. But I hope you have a wonderful evening, and stay fresh, you minty coffee pods.

Quilted Music Notes

Hey guys, what's up?! Hope your day is going well.

Today has been a generally good day all around. I got a lot accomplished, and I got a lot of relaxation and reflection time. The morning began with sunlight and sermons-a great sermon actually-and some powerful praise music. Then, this afternoon, my friends and I escaped to the Refuge, which is a park near our university.

It's actually more of a lake-silver mirror water dotted with tree stumps and herons, surrounded by a forest of intertwined trees and occasional eno's. Today, we joined the eno club and set up camp near the lake-a new study setting that allowed for a little more fresh air and a little less stress.

We had to improvise a bit, because all the trees were too big for my straps, and my friend Taylor and I shared a single strap. It was....interesting, but it was a lot of fun. And, it gave me a chance to breathe in and not feel like my lungs were collapsing.

Church this morning could not have been more accurate, more on point, more needed-for me personally. I don't know about anyone else in that crowd this morning, but the pastor asked a series of questions that literally hit me in the face. I'll give you a few of them, just to show you what I'm talking about. These are true or false...feel free to answer for yourself if you want.

1. Is God the #1 priority in your life?
2. Do you regularly make time for God?
3. Do you use his name flippantly, without respect?
4. Are you forgiving others, the way Jesus has forgiven you?
5. Are you living a God-honoring lifestyle?

I don't know where everyone else stood, but I felt like I was being called out personally, and I felt my insides sort of twisting and falling apart. I feel like the last few months have been a darker season for me, a time where I nearly lost myself.

But today in church, something hit me. Before I can start filling the emptiness, I have to find myself in God's light. Before I can be anything, I have to align myself with Him again. I need to love and praise Him, but more than that...I need to respect Him, humble myself, and stand in reverence of His perfection. And it's not until that moment that I begin living the life I'm supposed to.

And I'm ready for that life.

I hope you've had a relaxing weekend, and I hope you are fully prepared for the upcoming week. Even if you don't feel like it, I have total faith that you can make it through, you quilted music notes. I love you guys.

(Not So) Teenage Calculators

Hey guys, it's me again. I hope the weekend has treated you well.

Today has been an interesting day...or semi-interesting, depending on how you look at it. I spent the night at my friends' apartment...but let's be real, when do I not?

Anyway, we woke up, cleaned house, made waffles, and went downtown for the day. It was fun, but pretty soon we had to come back to jump back into homework (which is, according to popular belief not as fun as everyone wants it to be). Homework seems to take over a lot of everything these days, even on the second weekend in school.

But we powered through, and when I say "powered through", I mean, we were barely hanging on by the end of it. So after some sushi and shenanigans, the evening is coming to a close with a bit of dancing and a lot of letting go of stress that's been building up inside.

As I've grown older, I've come to find that weekends aren't always the reset button on stress. In fact, the weekend sometimes feels even more stressful-the next week's to-do list starts to settle into your brain, fluffing the pillows and settling down for a stay. Last week's mistakes and unfinished projects still linger, and on top of it all, there's always the desire to let it all go and do something that doesn't require as much brainpower. It's like there's no real break.

And for me, it can be even worse than that sometimes. I get so anxious about perfecting every detail, about making everything right-in my life and on the paper-that I become useless. Useless because, while I'm supposed to be focusing on the electric field between two charges, I'm focusing on what topics I should cover in my tutoring session, what I need to buy at the store for food the upcoming week, what I'm going to do if I end up alone, living with twenty three cats in a few years. And then the charges start jumbling across the page and I'm left wondering if I'm even meant to be an engineer at all.

Thus the life of a college student, or this college student at least. Plus too much junk food (I'm trying to be good, guys).

College has left me wondering what makes for an interesting life...what do people do to balance work and school and living? It can be impossible...but I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm almost past the teenage years, and I feel that sense of fun and freedom slipping away. It feels like there are fewer and fewer nights left staying out til 2 AM, watching movies all night, eating popcorn and cookie dough and whatever else we're craving.

I don't want that time to disappear, but it's becoming harder and harder to fit those nights into a schedule. But again, it's a one day at a time kind of thing.

I love you guys, and while I've been super stressed, I have been trying to get on and post. So I'll try as long as I can, you teenage calculators. Stay numerically accurate.

Knitted Candles

Hey guys. It's me again.

Two posts in a week...kind of crazy, right? But, if I say so myself, it's been a pretty crazy week, especially here on my campus. It's been a week of prayer and of patience, one that's sent me thinking a lot.

Yesterday morning, a little past ten....10:16 AM, actually.....everyone on campus received an alert saying that there was an "active shooter" in a building not far from where I sat. It was a moment of...wait, what? This happens on other campuses...in different parts of the country. Not here. Not me. Not now.

I waited it out. I waited to see what else was said while my professor continued to teach. Doors were locked, people quieted down. I texted my parents, my friends, my sisters, let them know what was happening, that I loved them, and that I'd give them more information when it was available.

And then the second text pinged that the suspect had moved across campus. And people started to freak out.

Needless to say, it was a long twenty minutes of confusion while the "suspect" moved from building to building, phones lighting up and going off as people contacted loved ones, ones on campus, social media...the works. For me, it was a mad dash to text everyone I could think of that I loved them, and that whatever happened, it would be alright. And it was a long twenty minutes of silent prayer, that no one would get hurt. That the man would be caught. That it would all be over. And thanking God for all the moments He had given me.

After twenty minutes, the all clear was given-he had been caught. He was in custody, and campus was safe. There were a series of events after that moment, including a 'second scare'-people came running back in, lights were shut off, the masses were huddled under the tables, against the walls, away from the windows, texts with various accounts of what was happening going off every few seconds-but it all boiled down to one conclusion. No one was hurt. No one had even been armed. And everything was going to be okay.

The campus was flooded with police, sirens, SWAT...everything. And in those few dark moments under the tables, doors locked,  it felt like madness. Looking back on it now, many people say our campus was crazy...making a big deal out of nothing at all, causing panic amidst a tiny event.

But my perspective is this...the fact that the campus police and defense made a big deal out of nothing makes me feel a lot safer than if they had done nothing about a big deal. Our campus was instantly a family, looking out for one another when nothing was clear, and everything felt like it was on the line. And though there was never any real threat, I certainly won't complain that we had to hide under the tables for a bit of confusion. It could have been much, much worse. And the response campus had was one of strength and unity...not fear.

It was a stressful day on all accounts, but despite the confusion, I was at peace with the fact that, no matter the outcome, God was working. Whether the outcome was good or bad...it didn't matter. God was in control, and all I could do was praise Him.

I had intentions of writing something completely different this evening, and just giving a short blip of yesterday's events, but as you can see, it turned into something a little more. But that's how yesterday felt. Twenty minutes felt like ten years.

But I was okay-for the entire experience, I was at peace. And I thank God for that one. Even more, I thank God that everyone was safe. And the alleged "shooter" will continue to stay in my prayers.

I love all of you, very much, and I hope that you always know that. That someone loves you, and is praying for you. And hopefully I will see you all again in a few days, my knitted candles. Stay beautiful, and stay safe. I love you guys.

Decaf Picket Fences

I'll be the first to admit it when I make a mistake-including the fact that I probably should have done laundry tonight. Or written a blog post at least once in the last month or so...but I messed that up quite a bit. In fact, I could look at the last few weeks and count up enough mistakes to string together a mile of mishaps.

I could tell you all about the mistakes I've made this semester (yes, I know...I'm only two weeks in), from taking on a full course load plus a job plus labs plus club positions...to rando-roommates that make life a little more complicated than I care to admit...I've had my fair share of stress. Which also isn't an excuse to slack on what's important to me.

In fact, turning back to string all those mistakes together would be a mistake itself...because in looking through all of that, I would completely miss all the great things that have happened in the last two weeks...and let me tell you, they've been pretty great.

I do have a job this semester, a job that-no matter how difficult it can be to manage my time-is something that I sincerely enjoy doing. I work as a sort of tutor-though maybe a little more involved than your average tutor. And while I may not be pursuing it as a career, I do have a passion for teaching...or for watching others learn. It makes me feel a little more whole inside each time, and I have so many opportunities to help so many people through this position.

I also have a family here at school that I wouldn't trade for any other family in the world....and no, unfortunately I don't mean my school as a whole, though I do have a tremendous amount of gratitude for all that it has offered me. I mean a close-knit group of friends that is always-ALWAYS-there for me. I can count on them to listen at all times, to feed me too much sugar when I need it, to go on late night adventures for coffee that I surely don't need, and to let me be their fourth roommate when I need to escape the stress that is 18 hours of classes. I'm serious when I say this....I love these people so much. And I owe them a lot more than I could ever give.

I've also started yoga this semester, which is...a stretch...ha...ha ha. Don't worry, I haven't lost my wit. But really, even if it starts before the sun rises, it is an interesting new development in my routine...and I will let you know when I reach pretzel status.

Also, I've found a church that I really love...and I don't mean, yeah, it's okay. I mean...it reminds me of my roots. It's not huge and formal and intimidating...it's small and cozy and passionate. And that's what gets me excited.

Among other great things (a creative writing class that gives me life...a physics class that makes my eyes sparkle...some opportunities at things I've never experienced, but hope to do more of....an executive position in a club that helps me explore more and more writing....coffee, coffee, and more coffee), is that I'm really starting to find myself. I'm starting to figure out what I love, and what I want to do with my life. I'm also learning my limits...both the easy way, and the hard way. I feel stretched a little too thin at times, but it can be a good thing. Because I know that know matter how hard I'm pulled, and no matter what gets thrown at me, this fighter isn't going to break.

But it's going to take some work on my part. I'm going to have to loosen up on the reins-a lot-and let God take over. I'm going to have to get back into a routine, and I'm going to have to start trusting Him and praising Him more than I do...because I definitely don't do it enough. Because I've learned the hard way that the only way to find balance in my life is to set Him at the top of it all. He's the only one that knows what's in my heart and in my head...and He's the only one who can lead me to what is right.

So, despite my long absences, here is another update on the happenings in my life, and it's good to get some things out. I love you all, so much, and I hope you have an excellent week. You're all in my prayers. Stay cool, you decaf picket fences. Stay cool.

Exploding Jellybeans

Well hello there.

If you're reading this, it's been some time since my last post. In fact, it's been a very long time. And while I didn't have the time to write, really, I did have the time to miss posting on here. I still wrote...it was less organized...but I still wrote, and I tried to keep at least a daily journal of my thoughts and where I was.

And let me tell you-my thoughts have been all over the place...as I have.

I had hoped my break from my blog would be a short one, but work got overwhelming overwhelmingly fast. I worked hours I never want to work again in my life, but I've learned a few things the last few weeks, so, if you'll take the time to listen, I'll share them here.

First of all, it's hard to explain and allow someone to empathize the layers of your mind without them having experienced it truly for themselves. If they haven't been where you've been, felt the pain or numbness you've felt, it's going to be very difficult to find any sort of understanding on that border. And more importantly than that, you can never blame someone for not feeling what you feel. Our planet is filled with millions upon millions of people, and each is bred in an environment that will create a human that has never lived the same life as someone else.

Having said that, all people do experience emotions, and those emotions more often than not fall in the same wide road that yours do. And though people aren't always saying what you want to hear when they try their hand at advice, or they don't understand what you're trying to explain, you have to give them credit for trying. You have to accept that no one is going to give you the golden, shining answer to your problem: it's something you have to seek and solve on your own.

But anyone who takes the time to try to be there?
Hold on to them. Hold on tight, because they are few and far between, my friends.

Two (I'm still trying to work out), it is sometimes more difficult to find the balance between acceptance and ambition, waiting and chasing. How do you know when something is worth chasing desperately for? Running towards without looking back?

It is, my friends, a question that has haunted me for as long as I can remember. In other words, what course of action is going to fix the situation?

All I've found in terms of an answer is this: seek God. He's not going to write 'stop' or 'go' on your ceiling to see when you wake up, and He isn't going to light up a golden path to what decision to make, but when you are actively seeking Him, the decision becomes a little bit clearer, and His will starts to show itself in places you'd never expect.

And thirdly, a personal truth maybe moreso than a general one, even when you want to, don't push away the ones you love.

Let me say that again, for anyone out there who is like me: Don't push away the ones you love.

Don't push them away because you fear them seeing your flaws and your faults. Don't push them away because you think you are going to hurt them.Don't push them away because you are scared of commitment, or scared that you are holding on too tight. Don't push them away for fear of what the world expects from you, and please, please, please, don't push them away by way of thinking you hate yourself more than you could ever love anyone else.

I don't know if other people struggle with this, but I certainly do. I have a roadblock when it comes to thinking other people will look over my glaring flaws. I think they're hideously, grossly apparent in my actions, and it is that process that drives me to kick out anyone who may come too close, anyone who reaches out a little closer to what I think is broken glass.

But pushing people away never solves the problem, especially the ones you love.

Now, while I'm officially back on the radar (except for my possible no wifi week coming up here) I don't know how often I will post. I'll try not to let the weeks slip away like I did last time, but I doubt I will be posting every day again.  I've missed it too much to stay away, though, and honestly, it has made my heart glow a little bit every time someone asks if I'm ever going to start writing on here again. So those of you reading, I love you dearly, you exploding jelly beans, and let me say, my heart is exploding as I think of you all. Have a wonderful week.

Starlit Fairytales

Hey bloggers.

Another late night post.

It's been a long week here, and I apologize to anyone who reads daily, but with my current schedule, it gets pretty hard to post every day.

Today, one year ago, on 6.15.14, I was baptized with both of my sisters, and my best friend Alyssa. I was baptized when I was very young, at the first church I attended, but I don't really remember it, and, at the time, I didn't understand exactly what being a Christian meant.

But when I moved in the summer before my eighth grade year, the youth pastor at my new church did a very good job at explaining to me what the gospel was. It wasn't that there hadn't been people like that in the past, but at this age, when I was trying to figure out who I was, the words began to make sense. I began to understand the importance of Jesus's death, and what Love that really was.

And a few years ago, when my current church formed, I saw that Love branching out in all the people that gathered there. We built a baptismal last summer, and the four of us were the first to get baptized. It was so special that I got to baptized with three of my closest friends, and God knew what He was doing that day.

Since then, I've still had troubles....I've still been anxious, persecuted, confused, broken...but, especially in this first year of college, and figuring out who I am as an adult, I've seen firsthand just how important it is that God is number one in my life. He is all that I have to cling to, and all that I could ever need.

And so, on this 6.15.15, I want to take a moment to praise for God's mercy and grace, giving eternal life and forgiveness to a lowly sinner like me. He is great.

As a close to this post, I want to make a sort of announcement. The rest of my summer is going to be fairly busy with work, as well as prepping for the upcoming school year, and as much as I love writing this, I just don't know that I will consistently have the time.

So, this is a farewell post of sorts. I've have made my goal of writing everyday for the past three months or so, and let me say bloggers, it has been WONDERFUL. Thank you to everyone who has read any of posts, and special thanks to those who kept coming back. I intend to write at least once a week, from here on out, but for the day to day, this may be goodbye.

I love you guys so much, and thanks for lending an ear. It means more than you know, my Starlit Fairytales.

Minty Perfection

Hey bloggers! What's up? Today has been a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOoOoOoooooooong day at work, like a 12 hour day, but it's all good because I learned a lot and met a lot of people.

Today, I've been thinking a lot about the deep stuff, you know? I guess when you are doing small, repetitive tasks, your mind has to wander somewhere, right? And my deep, philosophical thoughts for the day are this:

1. Don't ever, ever, EVER take for granted the people you love. I'm serious. Tell them...and tell them often. Because it's only when they are gone that you realize everything you should have told them...how important they are, how much you need them. Because missing people is hard, but missing people you never told how much you care about them is way harder.

2. This goes hand in hand with 1), but, if you love someone or something...don't let it go. You are given so much when you are given life-and I know I'm guilty of this-but you don't take the opportunities that could change your life. So if you are afraid...don't be. Do whatever it is you are dreaming for, reaching for, aiming for, working towards...take a chance because it may be the last one you get.

3. I guess this is a stair step because, my friends, my last piece of advice is this: DO NOT FEAR.

Do not fear. Don't be afraid of chances or change or people or places. You accomplish so much when you have courage. And courage can be hard to come by. But God promises us that we don't have to be afraid: we have an Almighty Father who holds the entire world in His hands.

So go for it.


I love you guys, you minty perfections, and I hope you all had a wonderful, wonderful Sunday.

Condensed Gum Wrappers {Saturday Song List Editions}

Hey bloggers, and welcome to Saturday! That means.....MUSIC! Yep! I hope you all are having a good day, and I hope you are ready for some tunes!

Without further ado:

1. South- Sleeping At Last

I don't know if I've suggested this one before,  but I know I've recommended Sleeping At Last. All of their music is so good, and so relaxing, and if you need to take a moment to breathe and think...this is a good song. It's very soft, subtle guitar, and the lyrics are always on point.

2. I've Got This Friend- Civil Wars

Okay, so I used to have a HUGE obsession with the Civil Wars, just because their voices match so perfectly. Every song of theirs is pretty great, but I've been listening to this one all week. It's very folksy music if you are into that, and Joy's voice is just perfect. 

3. Not Today- Twenty One Pilots

Yep, that's right. Another t.o.p. song, just because I love them so much. If you have listened to them before, you probably know the story for this one...good beat, good lyrics. Just worth mentioning because I love this song so much, but it's totally up to you whether you like it or not.

Anyway, I love you guys, and I'm sorry for the string of short posts here lately! But, my condensed gum wrappers, I hope things go well for you today, and that you all are getting plenty of sleep and water, because you know...stay healthy! (Wow, good music and good advice. Double whammy today). Any who, farewell my friends.

Echoing Pine Trees

Do you ever just listen to the way the night sounds when it's really, really late (later than it is now) or I suppose you could say really, really early?

It sounds...not like silence.

There is a hum. And sure, I know...it's the hum of the multitudes of technological inventions that cover the city, but there's another hum, that you only hear if you are completely silent.

Night is the only time you can hear your thoughts floating through the air.

Yeah, you can hear them.

Sometimes, they are loud, and overbearing, and can even block out that mechanical whir of technology. Sometimes, you have to take a step back to hear them. Sometimes, it takes more hours than there are in the night to sort through them. And if it's really bad, sometimes they hang around and buzz in your ear the next morning, the next day, the next afternoon, all the way into the very next night.

It becomes a backdrop, a continuous thing sometimes, and lasts several days (for me at least). And those are the times I feel the most troubled; troubled by thoughts that hum even when I'm speaking outloud.

I apologize, if you are reading, for the late post...it's been a long day, and work was extremely busy. And I also apologize a bit for the nature of the post, because I don't know if it is technically encouraging. It's just something I've been going through/thinking about. But if your thoughts won't leave you alone, I'm praying for you. And I'm praying that you figure out what they are trying to say, and whether they are important or not.

And I love you, you echoing pine trees, and I hope you have a spectacular day tomorrow.

Iced Nectarines

Hello friends! To start off, I would like to say that blueberry bagels are on point at all hours of the day...not kidding.

Second, it's beginning to feel a lot like (Christmas) summer. It doesn't really feel like Christmas...I just felt like adding that in because, you know, the song? Right? Hm? Anyway...

Thirdly, I want to talk about strength. I have a really good friend (I've talked about her a lot before) that continually...through everything I've seen anyway...shows a great deal of strength. And before, I've wondered how she can consistently stay so strong, and not give up, even when the world attempts everything it can to hold her down?

She has been through so many things, yet she tries to stay positive, and she always stays selfless. And it's quite amazing, because she has a backstory more difficult and cloudy than most.

But when I thought about, I realized that, through everything, she leaned on God.

And God is an amazing source of strength.

"So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand." Isaiah 41:10.

God promises us a helping hand, and endless strength through whatever burdens we have to carry whatever distances. And my friend Alyssa has always trusted Him for her strength...not anyone down here on earth. No one here can ever hold you up like Him, and He will never let you fall.

We all need strength...the strength to take a stand for what we believe in, and the strength to take a step back when we know it's not the right path. The strength to move forward when it seems impossible, and the strength to take a breath when we know we are moving too fast.

I hope you all can find strength in our amazing God today, and I hope all of you have an amazing afternoon, my iced nectarines.

Leafy Tabletops

Hello my bloggers. I do apologize for the late posting, if anyone's reading. I mean, I know this isn't like a major click-point for the day or anything of that nature, but it is a goal that I set for myself and I am steadily reaching it, day by day, one post at a time.

Today consisted of hanging out with best friends, meeting up with missed friends, and hitting up the job schedule. Work was...not relaxing...but very routine, which is nice. And it was pretty busy, which is always good!

I want to talk about keeping my head up today, and keeping my eyes away from the shadows that so eloquently cajole me into drifting towards them. Because, especially in a routine situation, it's easy to look at the monotony, the slow-going, sometimes speedy, repetitive schedule, motions, patterns, habits, thoughts...and the whirlwind is always devastating...

Unless you can focus upwards.

Unless you can remind yourself of the good.

What's the good in my life? I have a really good family...a really great family-no...a fantastic family. A family that backs me up when they see the worst of me, when I get the most angry, the most jealous, the most hurt, the most obnoxious. And they keep coming back for more of me, even when I'm no fun to be around. And when I am happy, they are happy with me. And I love them, through thick and thin.

What else is good...well, I have some pretty Grade A friends. I don't mean your average A minus friends, or maybe even A friends, but I have A+++ friends with like twenty two bonus points added. Like, topping the charts friends. Mainly because they put up with both sides of me...the light and dark let's say. And frankly, the dark shows its face a lot more than I would want it to. But they are always there.

I have a good God. Which is pretty self-explanatory, but you know what? There's not enough praise that can be said about His Goodness. Because He is almighty in power, overflowing in mercy, and completely and utterly amazing in everything He has done. My Savior is one of Grace, and that is so, SO good, you guys.

I guess that covers the basics. The good basics. The good in my life that is always worth mentioning and focusing on.

I especially love you, my bloggers, if anyone is reading. Because the fact that you are here, whether daily, or a couple times a month, makes me smile just a little bit more. And trust me, I'm smiling. Stay cool, you leafy tabletops.

Caramel Orchids

What up you guys!

Hope you are having a good day! It finally FINALLY feels like summer outside today, which is excellent, and I've enjoyed the sunshine.

Today, I went on an adventure and explored a museum and ate Mexican icecream (twas fantastically delicious). Also, there's something aesthetically pleasing to me about a simple coffee cup and plate, steaming up and looking all delicious and addicting. Not that I bought any coffee today, but I've had like three cups today.

It's going to be a long working week for me, so I apologize in advance for the length/lack of blog posts that may occur this week. And especially for today's blog length! But I love you all very much, my caramel orchids, and I promise to attempt better posts in the next few days!

Leather Spices

Heyooooo! How's it hanging??

Okay, so today, I thought I would inform you a little bit about my life and say, that, even though I barely got any burns from staying out in the sun, there was ONE area that got burned...my chin and my lips...So in case you're curious, my lips are very sunburned and in very much pain. Haha, but I'm not complaining, because I'd take this over my whole body being sore any day!

Anyway, it's been a goody day; I spent the day training for a new job, and while it wasn't a lot of work, it was nice to start a routine.

I feel like my life has been go go go, in  a good way, the last few weeks, but my schedule is getting so hectic I hardly have time to think!

Which...I'm not fond of, because...I love to think.

But in the words of twenty one pilots (ah, yes, enjoy their presence), there is such a thing as thinking too much...and sometimes its those very thoughts that can bring us back down. The thinking I'm talking about here is the what-if's and the maybe-so's and the if-only's and the I wish I wish I wish's. These thoughts only turn us on ourselves, and we become our greatest enemy.

But don't let yourself stop yourself.

Keep your thoughts up, focused on good, not bad; the way things are, not the way they could be...and I'm not saying it will dramatically change your life immediately, but it makes the day to day a little more bearable, a little more enjoyable.

I wish you all good thoughts tonight, and for the rest of the week, my leather spices, and I hope you have a great evening. I'm sorry for the short post, and I can't promise much longer ones in the future, but I do love you all very much.

Cosmic Bookshelves

Hey bloggers, what's happening?!

It's finally Sunday, and I am finally home from my adventure at the beach! I had a GREAT time catching up with my friends that I have missed oh so much...and it made me more than ready to see them again in August! It was a nice, relaxing break before I start back working, and let me say...I will be sifting sand through my belongings UNTIL August!

Anyway, I hope you have all had a good Sunday, and that life is treating you well.

Today, I was given yet another reminder that in order to make it through anything and everything, our Almighty Father HAS to be number one. He has to take precedence over all...to be our King. And I wouldn't want it any other way. His timing is perfect, even though I don't understand at first glance.

In fact, it usually takes much, much longer for me to realize what God is doing in my life. And all that He does is for good. If you've hit a rough patch, just keep plowing through, because every step makes you more whole, more complete...even when you feel like you are falling apart. It's another bullet for your resume, another scar for your stories...everything you do is a step towards becoming who God intended you to be.

God loves you, more than we can ever fathom as human beings, and that love is something we can't escape. God's love is what weaves us into who we are, and what allows us to live even when we fall, even when we sin. His Love is above all of that.

I hope you can see how much God loves you, my cosmic bookshelves, and I hope you have a wonderful evening. See you all tomorrow.

Hyper Lobsters {Saturday Song List Edition}

Hello bloggers! Hope you are all having a WONDERFUL Saturday, and that you aren't as sunburned as my friends, Christi and Taylor!

Today is finally Saturday Song Day again, and I hope I've found some interesting tunes. Honestly, we've kind of been listening to a lot of Camp Rock and High School Musical the last few days, but don't worry-I won't add those.

Welp, here it goes!

1. Ride this Feeling-Kate Miller-Heidke

The artist's voice in this song is extremely beautiful and relaxing, and the whole song itself has a very chill vibe, and to me, what sounds like an uplifting message. It sounds like she's trying to stay positive, keep moving forward with everything she's got. And I like it. But I'll let you decide if you give it a listen.

2. Polarize-Twenty One Pilots

Yeah, yeah. They're back. But anywho, this song is one of my favorites on Blurryface-like most of them-but my favorite part is towards the middle, where the music slows down...you'll know what I'm talking about if you listen. But it's a super good song.

3. Bikes-Lucy Rose

I love this song, and it was actually introduced to me a few years ago by my friend, Tiexeina. It's an excellent song, and like the first song, the artist has an excellent voice. It's very light and airy and in general just a really pretty song, and it takes me back to driving in the car with my sister. Good times, good times.

Anywhoooo...there's my music, and I hope you take the time to listen, and enjoy. It's been pretty fun here, and definitely relaxing...but hey, call me cheesy, I do miss the parents even though it's only been a couple days. Then again, I have pretty cool parents.

Hope you all have a lovely day, my hyper lobsters, and I will see you all tomorrow!

Buttered Watermelons

Aloha my blogger friends! I hope all is going well!

Today, I'm missing my friend Jill quite a bit. It's strange not having her to call or talk to at odd hours of the night, but I'm hoping to hear from her soon. If she has wifi, time to read this, the motivation to actually get here...this is my message saying HEY and I MISS YOU. (Is this like a present day message in a bottle? A glass carrier case in the big blue abyss of the internet? Wow. So artsy.)

Anywho....We've spent the day at the beach, and it has been so good catching up with my friends from school. It's weird making friends and practically living with them for a year, and then leaving for two months. But weekends like these make it better.

Today I've been thinking a lot about letting go and letting God, because there are a lot of things in our life that we try to control that we have no business controlling...and the load becomes so much lighter when we give Him all our struggles.

If you are having trouble carrying it all, take a look at what you are holding onto. I promise you...no matter what it is...God has got this. God can carry all of it, and all you have to do is trust and follow-have faith. Because God loves you, and He isn't going to let you drown amidst your struggle. You may be persecuted, but the path will never be impossible.

Matthew 19:26 says, "Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.""

If say that's pretty encouraging.

I hope you have a wonderful evening, my buttered watermelons, and I love you guys.

Spontaneous Adjectives

Hello bloggers! How is it going? Having a pretty good day? Yeah?

So my newest goal this week (hopefully for the rest of the summer) is to get TOTALLY FIT YAH! I mean, I usually run a bit, but I want to start doing weight training again, so that I can do as many pull-ups as my sister....who doesn't really work out, mind you. But she can still do way more pull-ups than me. Go figure.

But anyway...my goal is set and I promise I WILL reach it. I'm committed...I'm ready. Yeeeessss.

Commitment and dedication are important...and they're both extremely important in my life. I've always, always, all my life made lists and set goals and worked until I achieved those goals, no matter how long it takes. But sometimes...I find myself committing to the wrong things, making the wrong things the focus of my daily life.

And when you commit yourself to the wrong direction, it can be hard to set it right again.

God is the only one who can show you which direction you need to be going, what instructions you need, and it's up to us to open our ears and listen to Him (which can be a lot harder than I want it to be)!

Anyway, for me, I've always found it easier to distinguish His voice when I'm talking to him everyday, getting wrapped up in the Word, keeping the focus on Him. Because when the focus is up there, the path usually becomes a lot more clear...and a lot more narrow.

Following God's instructions doesn't always make life fine and dandy, and it certainly, certainly doesn't make it any easier. But in the end, it's always towards good, and it's always worth it.

"Great is our Lord and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:5. He understands it when we don't. So trust in Him, and you'll find yourself reaching goals you never imagined.

I love you guys, my spontaneous adjectives, and I hope you have a fabulous day.

Chrome Flower Pots

Hey friends; how's it hanging? It's been a fairly chill day here at the home, but I'm going to my first day of work this afternoon, and I'm pretty pumped...if for no other reason than to have a purpose and something to do.

Not to say I haven't been busy at home. But it's different kind of busy.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a wonderful day, and today I just wanted to share a few words of encouragement.

If you are having a rough time today, I believe in you. You CAN do this. You can climb whatever hill, reach the top of whatever mountain, cross any ocean that stands in front of you. You are so much stronger than whatever it is.

Galations 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap the harvest if we do not give up."

If things are going the way you planned, it will get better. It's all going to be okay, whether you feel up, or down right now. Let me tell you, God knows what He is doing (I say it all the time...but it's true) and you are going to be okay. You have the strength to persevere when things are going wrong, and you have the strength to put it back in order.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight."

If you are feeling sad today, that's okay, too. It's okay to feel sad every once in a while, as long as you realize when it's time to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. You can't control what you feel, but you can control what you do...and the best path is always forward. I believe in you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you, nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."

I hope you all find some peace today, whether you are having a hard day or not, and that happiness comes your way, for a moment at least. I love you all, my chrome flower pots, and I believe in you.

Rambling Mailboxes

Hey bloggers, how's it hanging? I hope you are all having a fabulous day, and that you are finding little bits of sunshine, metaphorical and literal, in your day today.

Today, I want to talk about loving one another.

God puts everyone where they are for a reason; each person has a purpose, an intention, and is a creation made in the image of God. Therefore, we have to love everyone, because God loved them first and placed them here first.

If we aren't showing love, then what are we showing? Apathy? Dislike? Jealousy? Hatred? These aren't the Christ-like love that God hoped for us to resemble.

There's a difference between obsession, and love...a difference between agreeing with everything someone says, and loving them. Love is unconditional; it doesn't hang on whether someone is right or wrong. In John 13:34-35, it says "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

When we love despite circumstance, despite response, there is something that's a bit like that sunshine I was talking about. Christ shows in us, and makes himself known to those around us. And when a person loves like Christ, it is brilliant.

We are called to love even those who persecute us, when it's hardest to love. "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:44. We are called to love even those who do wrong to us, or to others. It's something that sets apart from normal love, from loving the ones who love us back. When we love our enemies-even when it's hard-it creates a separation: earthly love versus Christ-like love.

This Godly love is a perfectly unconditional love, and reveals the wonder, majesty, mercy, and justice of God. It's not up to us to decide who deserves love; God has already made that call.

I hope that you are finding love today, but more than that, I hope you are showing love, to everyone you come across.

I love you, you rambling mailboxes, and will see you tomorrow.

Spectacular Condensation

Hello my fabulous bloggers. I hope you are having an excellent day, and things are going swell.

Things are fairly good here; I finally got a call a back from the restaurant I worked at last summer, and I will finally be working again this week. As much work as work really is, it is something that I enjoy doing, just because it gives me a purpose and gives me something to do. Although it's usually pretty easy to get stressed out.

Stress is something that I have thankfully escaped from these last two weeks; it's been relatively stress free. And I've done a lot of thinking, and a lot of reflection the last two weeks, and a lot of finding out who I am.

Deep, right?
But I'm serious. Finding yourself is important. If you don't know who you are, do you really know anyone? And you never stop finding yourself, it's something that keeps growing, keeps changing, keeps being molded until the day you leave Earth. As a person, you are always growing in one way or another.

That can be good growth, but sometimes it can be backwards growth. The last two weeks of school, I found myself growing backwards, growing back into a shell, becoming scared of who I was and who I would be.

It's something that you have to face head-on; you can't ignore it and hope that it disappears. To grow positively, you have to take positive action, but you also have to look at the negatives in your life. You have to figure out what in your life is an obstacle or a negative force, and as much as it may hurt, cut that out of your life. Sacrifice something that is comfortable for something that is good, spiritually, physically, and mentally, is always hard....but in the end, it's always worth it.

If you are having a hard time, I am praying for you. And if it helps, I believe in every single one of you. YOU are strong enough to make the change in your life that you need...but under one condition. You are only strong enough when God is the one in control, when you hand Him everything.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27.

God will give you peace, and you may not understand it immediately. But don't be afraid of the future, especially when He is in control. He will guide you to the person you are supposed to be.

I love you all, you spectacular condensation.

Inflated Cheetos

Hey guys, what's up!? Hope you guys are having an excellent time!

So today, I cut my hair, and my new motto (which I actually laughed at for a long time) is care-free, hair free. Because now my hair is much shorter, and I am determined to stay worry free.

Also today, I am going to write about....the meaning of life.

Just kidding. But that is what my friend Alyssa suggested, and she also gave me a spoiler alert: ***the answer is 42***

No, but really, today I am having a really hard time finding inspiration, and motivation. So Alyssa is taking over.

*****************************
Hello again bloggers!!! This is your favorite of the dynamic duo of Jenna and Alyssa!!!

...actually probably not, but here I am anyways!!

Jenna's feeling really lame today and so I had to push her into to the floor so I could take over, because I have some things to say to you guys...so you better be ready.

*cracks knuckles*

Let's get down to business...to defeat the huns..

Well not really.

Okay. I'm done goofing off. As you could probably tell, I do not have much inspiration either and I am just being a good friend. So selfless and loving of me, am I right?

Well, actually that was a just a little clever ploy to segue into todays topic!!!

Can you guess what it is?

I'm waiting.

Wow y'all suck. It's love. (Actually shout out to those who guessed...here's a virtual high five)

Now, now. You guys stop complaining. This isn't what you think it's going to be about.

This is going to be about a selfless kind of love that I try to exemplify every single day...although I do not come close to accomplish.

And since I ended my last guest blog post with a cheesy quote, I will start this one with one. I had a film teacher who once told me "Be kind to all because you never know who's going through a fighting battle."

For some reason, this really stuck with me, because I feel like this is what  I think makes up a big part of what love is...treating everybody with kindness.

This is so important you guys. Like so important. Because everyone is human and everyone has circumstances that made them who they are and how they act and you really never know what is going on behind the scenes. One bad thing you say to them can ruin their day, but one good thing could change their whole perspective of their live maybe.

You just never know and so why not be kind.

This sucks and I have a whole lot of stuff I wanted to say on this subject, but couldn't find the words. So I will leave for you my favorite bible verse that is taped to my mirror at home:

"Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Corinthians 16:14

It's a good reminder and I challenge you to try to let love run your life in everything you do so that you can become more like Christ.

And maybe.

Just maybe.

You will turn someone's life around.

Thanks for letting me run this show again today. Now back to Jenna for your scheduled programming.




*****************************



Lastly, I have an important announcement:

I love my mother dearly. She is the best mother I have ever had. And I could not be here without her. I just love her so much.

And I love all of you, you inflated cheetos.

Paper Sailboats {Saturday Song List Edition}

Hey guys! Hope you are ready for some chill tunes, because honestly, that's what I've been jamming to this week. By the way, did I mention yesterday that I

AM GOING TO A TWENTY ONE PILOTS CONCERT IN OCTOBER?!?!??!?!

I am SOOOOO excited. I get to see al the songs I posted live and I'm pumped. Ah. Can't wait. Gonna meet Josh Dun. Yes.

Yes.

Anyway. Here are my three songs for the day:

1. Lakehouse-Of Monsters and Men

So Of Monsters and Men has some pretty great music in general, but I just love this song. It's very mellow, and perfect to paint to (if that's what you are into) or fall asleep to (if you sleep) (I don't). But her voice is just beautiful, and his has this curious twang that is mesmerizing. So go on ahead and give it a listen.

2. Photograph-Ed Sheeran

My dear mother has been singing this song to me all week, so I had to include it. I guess you can't not like Ed Sheeran, and this is a pretty good song. It's very quiet, chill, sort of sad. But I love it, and I love how it starts painting a picture with the lyrics. Also, it's not the Nickelback Photograph, so don't judge it by the title.

3. Message Man-Twenty One Pilots

HA! You thought I was going to do a Saturday Song List without twenty one pilots, didn't you? But they made it again this week. This is my favorite song off the album, even though I love every single song they've ever made. But there's something about this one that I just love. It's not rap, but it is poetry divided, and Tyler Joseph is the kind of guy who takes every moment he knows to make music. So go listen, you won't regret it.

I hope you enjoy today's music, and I hope you are having a great week! Today is Abby's birthday, so a big shoutout to her...HAPPY BDAY ABS!

Anyway, my paper sailboats, please get lots of sleep and enjoy the rest your weekend.

Violent Squash

Hey bloggers! I know it's a late one tonight, and I'm sorry. But it's been a nice, relatively busy day, and I've done lot of things.

Today, my friend Jill left for Canada. And right now, I'm feeling her loss hardcore. I can't text her anytime, and I can't call her when something goes wrong. But I know she is making amazing changes already where she is, and I'm so proud of her.

Tomorrow is my little sister, Abby's birthday, and she is growing up. I wrote her card today, and it made ME cry writing it. So we'll see what happens tomorrow.

And today...it happened.

I bought


TWENTY ONE PILOT CONCERT TICKETS.

I

AM

SO

EXCITED.

Like you don't understand. I screamed for ten minutes after purchasing the tickets, and I am going to a concert in the future. I am so pumped. I get to see Josh Dun on those drums, and I couldn't be happier.

Again, I'm sorry for the short post, my violent squashes, but I will see you all tomorrow.  And I love you all very much.

Rosemary Bagels

What up! Welcome back!!

Hope that you are having a good day, and that all things considered, you're smiling anyway. Today I have been out to get bagels (as you can see in the title), though they weren't rosemary, with my friend Alyssa and her sister, and let me just say....I love bagels. And we came home with a dozen (shhh).

We also went shopping for bedding for my dorm room next semester, and I have to say, I'm so excited to be going back to school. I didn't think I would be, but the more I think about it, the more exciting it gets. I really do believe that God sent me to my school for a reason, instead of the other ones I applied at, and I can't wait to see what this next semester has in store for me.

Waiting to see what's in store for me is something I am not very good at. You could say I'm impatient, but you'd be wrong.

I'm actually really impatient.

I have trouble making myself content with waiting, and the waiting process, but it's something I'm learning to work on. Because, though it may not feel like I'm doing anything, God is working in me. God is building me into the person I'm supposed to be on this earth, and the longer time goes on, the more and more walls inside of me start falling. In hard times, God is building something beautiful, and that is patience.

Looking back, when I think about the times I've gone through that have been more difficult than others, it wasn't apparent then what was happening. In the moment, it always feels like pain. Like being lost. Like hurt, like tears, and like fear. And I still face those things.

But looking at God, I see that He has this handy dandy way of holding on whenever I feel like I'm losing. I stray, but He pulls me back. I fall down, and He's there to pick me. I cry, and He's still holding on.

Every fall leads to a moment of perspective. A jump back up saying, "With God, I can do this. I will do this." And every moment teaches me something, whether it's a small lesson or a big one. And in every moment, I have to praise God. I have to praise Him with everything I've got, because He blessed me with so much.

When I hit the valleys, it's extremely hard to remember patience. To remember that His timing isn't what I expect, and isn't always what I want. But I keep walking anyway.

You may not feel like walking. You may feel like curling into a ball and stopping, because moving forward feels impossible. Looking at the road ahead is terrifying. And looking at the road behind is just as painful.

But wherever you are, God is there. God is there, and He knows what you are going through. He knows every piece of your pain, but God is Healing. God is Goodness and God is Love, and when you feel empty, He is there to fill you up.

It takes pain to create something beautiful, and I promise you that you are beautiful. No one is perfect, but God made everybody perfectly imperfect. Everyone has things to work on, but you are beautifully, wonderfully, and fearfully made. Every inch of you is a masterpiece, and if you are focused on God and God's plan, I promise you are shining.

Wherever you are, I believe in you. Whatever step is coming next, I know you can face it, because I'm going to face my next step, too. Do so with an open heart, and an open mind, and let God lead you where you need to go. Because His love never fails, and He won't lead you astray.

I love you, my rosemary bagels, and you shine with the stars. Stay beautiful.

Temporary Dragonflies

What's up homies? Are you ready for today? ARE YOU REAADDDY??!

Yeah, I don't know if I'm ready yet either, but I'm having coffee and then I'll be up and at it, whatever it is. I am super anxious about working, because not working or schooling or both is the weirdest feeling in the world. I'm ready to get back into a schedule.

Today, however, I did accept a job for next semester at school, which will put me at a class schedule of 19 hours and then my work week hours...which may or may not prove to be life threatening with Physics II, Calculus III, Linear Algebra, etc. etc. But! You know what? It'll be okay, because I'm going to power through. And I'm actually really looking forward to it, because all of my classes look really fun.

I get anxious a lot, though. And I get nervous about a lot of things, and I tend to worry much, much, much, much, much, much, much, (a few more muches) MUCH more than I should. But, amidst all my worries, when I put it in perspective,

What really is worrying going to do about something? What will I achieve by staying up until who knows when, staring at my ceiling, unraveling every thought I've had through the day and worrying about what I've done and what I've said. It doesn't help. In fact, I would venture to say, that worrying often makes things a heck of a lot worse.

In Matthew 6:27, Jesus says "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?". Well, can we?

No. The answer is no.

Anxiety and worry are too prone to taking the reins and saying to the rest of your brain, "Hey, I'm in charge now." And there isn't always an easy way to kick them out, especially if they lived there years and years and years.

But Jesus says to relax a little bit. He takes care of the birds in the sky; don't you mean so much more? Instead of taking the reins yourself from your worries, it's best to hand them straight to God. Because you know what? He knows exactly what He is doing, especially, especially when we definitely do not.

It's not our timing in life; it is far greater to trust in His timing. Because He knows the perfect way for things to work out.

If you're having fear or anxiety today, know that I'm praying for you. If you find yourself worrying, it may be time to hand those reins over, to give it all up to Him. And know that no matter what, it's going to be okay.

I love you guys, my temporary dragonflies. And I hope you have an excellent day.

Spacious Lily Pads

Hey bloggers...what's happening?!

Hope you're have a good Tuesday, and that you have a lot planned for the day. I've got some fun plans today....I'm meeting Alyssa to start getting ready for a bible study this summer. After (much) debate about where we are going to meet, it's good to finally have plans so we can start talking about 1 Peter.

1 Peter is one of my favorite books in the Bible, because it's always so encouraging, even in the deepest, darkest of times. My favorite verse, which I'm pretty sure I've told you guys about before, is 1 Peter 5:7, which is "Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you."

This verse never fails to remind me of the entire reason I am existing and moving forward and making changes. Because no matter what anxiety builds its wall against me, God is going to be there. And not because He has to, or because it is an obligation, but God promises to hold our fears and worries because-get this-He LOVES us. He doesn't like us, He isn't mildly fond of us...He loves us. Even when we feel unlovable. Even when it's hard to love ourselves.

Love from God isn't a cover-up. It isn't a momentary feel-good that takes away our anxiety long enough to let us breathe and then He says 'time-up'. God's love, and God's stability is unfailing, never-ending, amazing and overpowering, and above all things. All things.

All.

Have you ever felt lost with all the things that need to be done or that have been done or the things that are going to happen? God tells us that all of it can be gone if we give it away. We can freely give God whatever is on our heart, and if we learn to trust in Him and trust that he knows what he's doing, well...then all our anxieties become less overwhelming.

Trusting in God is, for something so simple, a little difficult sometimes. We hold onto life with both hands, knuckles white as we cling for dear life. But God will always be there to say, "I've got this. I've got you covered." Why? Because He loves us. How encouraging is that?

If you trust in God, you can have sound assurance that your life will not be for nothing. God will work all things towards goodness in ways we could never imagine. So don't hold on to fears and doubts and struggles and anxiety....give it to God. He wants to take it from you.

I hope that you can remember that today. That you can just remember, if nothing else, that God loves you SO MUCH for who you are, and nothing else. He loves you so much that He is willing to take on whatever you are facing. Not only is He willing, but He is perfectly able. Because our God is an awesome God.

I love you guys, too, my spacious lily pads, and I hope you have an excellent day.

Prepackaged Doorstops

Hey bloggers! How is your day going? What fun things have you been up to? What have you accomplished? Where have you been? What has been the highlight of your day?

If you don't know the answer to those questions, the clock is ticking and you still have time to go on an adventure. So buckle up, saddle up, lace up....whatever you want to call it, and have at it!

I myself am just about ready for an adventure. I'm ready to go explore what I haven't seen, meet people I haven't met, try things I've never even heard of before. I'm ready to spread my wings and take on whatever is out there to face me.

Things don't go as planned perfectly every time, in the exact way you want them to. But you always have opportunities at your doorstep, and for me, it's high time I start taking them. Going on out a limb, or two, or three could have limitless possibilities, and the only way you'll know where you're going is when you get there. So GO!

It doesn't have to be a physical journey, either. There are lots of leaps you can take without ever leaving your garage. Whether is creating or inventing or searching or seeking or praying or praising...make every moment worth it. Make it count. Make it important. And most importantly...

Don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing you have to do one thing,

please one person,

BE something you are not.

You are your own person, and if you don't know who that is...it may be time for a long talk with God. You are His beloved creation, and He loves you because you are you.

So go figure out who that you is. Go start making the You that you want to be, because I promise it's never too late. Even if you think you are locked in a tight little frame of what is expected and what you've become, you can always turn it around. It takes work, emotional and physical and definitely spiritual, but it is always worth it when you find yourself and what you are made for.

I love you guys, my prepackaged doorsteps, and I will believe in you wherever you go. You are awesome. No matter who you are.

Flowered Diving Boards

Happy Sunday! I hope you're keeping it a happy Sunday anyway, and if not, go do something that makes you happy and then come back. Otherwise, keep reading. Maybe reading makes you happy, maybe...okay, I'll stop rambling.

Anywho, it's been a happy day here. After church today, we met at our youth leaders pool for a day in the (cloudy) sun (with a slight chance of rain). Some people are coming over later tonight for a sleepover, and then tomorrow will start a brand new week.

But for now, I'm basking in the sun. Last night my friend and I watched a movie, that was fairly good by the way, that focused a lot on optimism and pessimism.

Optimism, no matter who's wearing it, looks pretty good. And a smile can add a lot , too. Because, when you're optimistic, you start to MAKE things look up. Nothing is ever going to go perfect, and the only thing that is certain about the future is that nothing is certain. So you have to take life as it comes, and, here's the ticket:

Make the best out of it.

I know. Cliché. But it's so true, and you have the power to decide how you face the world. You have the power to decide what attitude you approach with, and whether or not you are going to look and aim for the best.

When you are aiming for the best, it's not just for yourself...you are becoming a light for every person you touch in your life. Think about dark times and dark moments...what do you see first? What do you remember most? If you haven't guessed, it's the light.

Being a light is letting everyone else know it's okay, even when it doesn't always feel like it. Because hope can be the most inspiring thing in the world.

I hope your Sunday continues to be well, my flowered diving boards, and that your light is shining. I love you guys.

Stained Glass Shampoo Bottles {Saturday Song List Edition}

As promised, today won't be completely twenty-one pilots. But, as you will see, I can't completely leave them out. Anyway, today has been a fairly good day...

I got a cactus. His name is Joseph, and he has a flower hot-glued to the top of him. Yeah, weird, I know. But for some reason, he came like that, so I'm not judging. He's only a few inches tall right now, but apparently it can grow to be like 6 feet....we'll see, we'll see.

On to the music!

1. The Judge-Twenty One Pilots

This one is off the brand new album, Blurryface. It's all quiet at first, and then a ukulele starts strumming and it's beautiful. And there are some high notes in there that I (unfortunately) can't hit, but Tyler most definitely can. I really want to hear an acoustic version of it, maybe around a campfire or something. Anyway, this song is great.

2. Mykonos-Fleet Foxes

I love this song and I've loved it for a long time...it's very indie feeling I guess, but I love it so much. The voices are good, the music is good...it makes you feel like you're on this tall mountain overlooking the beach or something along those lines.

3. Hometown-Twenty One Pilots

Also from Blurryface.........anyway. This one has a very 80s feel to it, and my friend Alyssa says it reminds her of the band One Night Only. The beginning is my favorite part but it's very airy and lofty until the main beat slips in but it's so so so GOOOOOD. All of their songs are good. So yeah. Go listen.


All the songs make me feel so happy, so I hope you like them, and I hope you are enjoying your Saturday. They really are all pretty feel-good songs, and they feel happy. For the most part. I guess it depends on your interpretation, but they all have a pretty good beat.

Anyway, I love you guys, my stained glass shampoo bottles, and I will see you all tomorrow!

Illuminated Silverware

Hey-o my friends. So I'm super pumped about tomorrow's blog, because I can finally FINALLY put some music from Blurryface on the Saturday Song List, but no worries....I will refrain from putting only tøp on there. I know everyone isn't as big of a fan. Though I don't know why. But that's okay.

Anyway, I've had a fun last two days because my friends Jill and Christi from school visited. And even though we didn't do a whole lot, I wouldn't trade a single second of it, because today is probably the last time I will see Jill before she goes on her mission trip.

Jill is pretty cool, I suppose, and although there are a lot of things I could list, I think one of coolest things about her is her passion. And it's a kind of passion that I think defines one of the biggest questions in the universe, and it goes along the lines of, what exactly is life?

While there are a lot of answers, right, wrong...a big one, I think, is finding something you love and letting it lead you places. Jill's passion is for teaching, and no matter what she does career-wise or future-wise, she'll never not be a teacher. It's something she loves, and something she is good at. And so no matter what direction she goes, that teaching capability and lifestyle is going to shape everything she does.

My friend Alyssa's passion is encouragement. And no matter what career she finds herself in, her encouraging personality and attitudes are going to follow her through every single thing that she does. And it's pretty inspiring.

I've spent a long time thinking through my life what my passion is, and while there are many, many things that I love and that inspire me, I think writing is something that I couldn't let go of, even if I tried. Whether I am a good writer, or a bad writer, I can't change the way it makes me feel, or the way it makes me think. It's sort of like breathing, and if you think about your passion, you'll understand.

When you love something, you don't think about it. It just happens. Jill teaches without intending to; she sets herself up as a role model, someone to follow, whether she's aware or not. Alyssa encourages like it's second nature; she goes out of her way to keep people's thoughts focused on what's up, not down below. And whether I write for public or private eye, I can't go a day without it.

Your passion becomes a part of you, and the more you nurture it, the more it grows. The more you acknowledge it, the stronger it becomes. And the more you practice it, the more people it can reach. And if you are passionate about something, I think it will make a difference.

So, my illuminated silverware, no matter who you are, you have a passion. And the world is dying to see what you are going to do with it, whether it's what your career revolves around, what your day-to-day becomes, what you do when no one is looking. Don't let that piece of you just sit there, because whatever you do, it will be done for good.

Go do good deeds, my friends. I love you all.

Voluminous Squirrels

Hello bloggers. Today's title was inspired by my friend Whitney, who A) has a birthday today, and B) is a beautiful person. So today, you are all squirrels.

Anywho, I hope you are having a wonderful day, and if you aren't, try on a smile for size. It may help out a bit. Today has been a fairly good day. I received a job offer today from my local grocery store, and I am SUPER pumped to get started. I will be working with my best friend, Alyssa, which is even more exciting!

It should keep me busy this summer, and I hope it's some great experience. It's not my first job, but I'm looking forward to it.

As you all know very well, life has this not-so-exciting habit of throwing us curveballs, and then sometimes, it likes to go ahead and run towards us with a baseball bat charging full steam ahead. We can feel pretty beaten down and broken, and it feels like it gets a little harder to get back up each time it happens. And don't worry...it happens to everyone. I promise it's not just you.

Life isn't fair, you guys. That's all there is to it.

And as much as I repeat and repeat and repeat that phrase to myself, and as much as I know for sure that it's true, it still isn't the easiest pill to swallow. But the upside is this...life doesn't have to be fair. Life doesn't owe us anything. It's not going to be fair because we ask it to or we want it to (I promise there is an upside, you guys). And life certainly isn't going to try it's best to make it easy for us.

But the upside is this...we have two metaphorical and even literal feet that just keep walking. Life may have a nasty habit of bringing us down, but people in general have this pretty exciting habit of continually trying and moving forward.

No matter what's bringing you down, you can hop on those two metaphorical/literal feet and be a little bit stronger, a little bit better, a little bit wiser because of it. And then all the sudden you have the awesome story to tell about how the baseball bat was coming for you and you are still here to tell the story. How great is that?

Life may not be easy. But there is so much it has to offer to you. So get back on your feet and keep putting one in front of the other. I believe in you guys, and honestly, life believes in you.

Go own today, because you are so much STRONGER than whatever gets thrown at you. Believe me.

I love you guys, you voluminous squirrels. And a very happy birthday to my friend Whitney.

Sparkling Album Covers

My coffee is steaming all in front of my computer screen, and I can't tell if it's aesthetic or humorous, but either way it looks pretty cool.

I hope you are all having a wonderful day, or at least that you are planning for a wonderful day. If not, go ahead and plan for a wonderful day, because you look wonderful today, and you should always match your days. It's considered polite, or something.

God made each of us spectacular for a spectacularly different reason, my friends. He gave each of us something different, or someone different, or somewhere different to lift up His name and spread it far and wide. It's not a name just to be whispered, either. It is to be shouted from the rooftops, sung (sang? singed?) to the sky, and praised in music and dance.

I hope if you are feeling scared or anxious, or lost or confused, that your lips can at least remember that much. That it's not all about us, and it's definitely not all about what we're worried about. We can use our fears and anxiety to lift Him up, and believe me, if you're trusting Him, He will use something.

He has a plan for everything, and if you don't quite understand that plan, take a moment and pray about it. Pray, because the only place we can look for answers is Up. If you have a more questions than you ever imagined, and if you feel more scared than happy, pray. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Continually.

See, His will doesn't seem that hard, right? What's hard about staying joyful, praying constantly and consistently, and praising even in times of trouble?

So it's a little harder than it seems; I understand. I don't uphold those three simple things everyday and all the time, even when I know I should. It's hard to stay happy when you feel so down.

But if you pay attention, it doesn't say be happy always. It says joyful, and I think there's a difference.
Joy, to me, is more than smiling and laughing and not being sad. Joy is a more constant feeling, and more pure feeling. Joy is a constant assurance that there is hope despite what you are feeling. Joy is something we can have in the darkest of darkest, in the most quiet times. Joy, that we are promised peace one day, no matter how far in the future that is. We have a piece of that peace buried in our soul, a peace knowing that tomorrow isn't scary because we are going into with God in the lead, with God taking the reins. Because He knows where to lead us.

We follow.

If you don't know Christ, He's there, waiting. And despite everything, He loves you. No matter what you may think you've done; He loves you. If you want that constant Joy, it's there for the taking, a gift made completely and purely for you.

If you do know Christ, I hope you remember that Joy today. Be joyful and know that no matter what, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay because our hope isn't focused on the things down here that can look so broken.

I love you guys, my sparkling album covers, and don't forget that you look wonderful, so make it wonderful.

Carbonated Azaleas

Hey guys; what's up? It's a nice day today, at least here it is. Very sunny, actually hoping for a campfire tonight.

Maybe.

Anyway, today I'm coming to you with a sort of shift. I realized I've kind of come up with a motto on this here blog, if you've been reading for a while, and that is Keep Moving Forward (maybe I didn't come up with it...I suppose that was Walt Disney. Fact Check). But I have been using it quite a bit. Because when you feel lost, it's a good thing to do.

But I'm going to tweak my advice a bit thanks to a video I watched today. Keep moving forward is still pretty valid; in fact it's the greatest option sometimes. But it needs an addition, an extra, or maybe a main focus:

Keep moving forward, and keep looking up.

We can't keep our eyes down here, because there isn't much encouragement. Not that the earth is completely desolate and discouraging, but it can feel like it sometimes. But there is someone who is never discouraging, never going to tell us to give up or even let us give up.

Because we have to focus on the heavens, and keep looking up to God. If we keep our eyes chained to the skies (metaphorically), we are constantly, continually, completely renewed and reminded that there is something much better waiting on us.

We have a purpose down here, so we can't give up. And we surely can't quit, and it is impossible to go backwards. So we have to keep moving forward with our chins held high and hearts open for change.

I hope if you are struggling, doubting, feeling lost, feeling broken, feeling let down, or feeling like a let down...that you know you aren't alone. Ever. There are people here to lift you up, but more importantly, there is our Father there to hold your hand even after you get up. To hold you tight and comfort you when you feel uncomfortable. To love you when you feel unlovable. To uphold every promise when you feel like you are breaking all of yours.

Stay focused on the heavens, and stay focused on a Savior who is fully focused on you. You were made to love, and be loved. Don't get distracted in trying to figure out your purpose; that's been decided. You just have to keep moving forward until it's achieved; because if you're looking up and focusing on Him, He'll lead you to your purpose. I know it.

I love all of you, my carbonated azaleas, and you are far greater than you will ever know. Have a wonderful afternoon.

Scattered Batteries

Hey what's up, my homies? Hope you are having a good morning. And I know! So early for me this time...I mean, the sun hasn't even set yet, right? What am I doing?

I apologize for the evening blogging recently; I've been busier than I expected. Even this took some thought beforehand because I figure I'm going to be busy today as well.

But it's a good kind of busy, I suppose. Catching up with friends, taking small adventures. The fun stuff. Hopefully I'll be working soon, which is good as well.

I want to talk about fear today, because fear is something that comes a lot, but doesn't always get answered. Everyone is afraid of something, and no matter how irrational it is, it can't always be fixed. It's hard to do anything if fear has its fingers on the puppet strings.

Think about it. What are you afraid of? I probably can't talk you out of it, even if I am an expert and had a list of a hundred and one reasons why it's irrational. But instead of talking you out of being afraid, I'll try instead to talk you into realizing you are so much braver and bigger than your fear.

Fear can be paralyzing, until we recognize it, that is. Once recognized, it loses a little bit of its power. You know it's there, you know what it is....believe me...no one knows your fear better than you do. And I read somewhere recently, that fear makes you aware. It makes you aware of every detail, and you are suddenly empowered to make more of a difference than ever before.

So take your fear, wrap it up, and make something. Be it poetry, be it art, music, sports, CHANGE. Whatever. Use it to your advantage, and don't let it control.

Just because I fear my own thoughts, doesn't mean I can't use them to make poetry. And even though I don't consider myself a Grade A poet, I think when it's poetry from the deepest parts of my soul, it means something.

Make your fear mean something. Don't let it be just anything, what it wants. Tie a chain around it and make it what you want. Because let me tell you something I wish I had heard/understood much earlier in time:

Out of all the people in the world, you-and only you-are in control of your life. God gave us choice, long, long ago; He gave man the decision to choose their path, and it is up to us to choose His will or not.

But fear doesn't choose the path for us. We do. And you, my friend, are most certainly not your fear.

You are so, so much more.

I love you guys, my scattered batteries. Stay cool, and do not fear.


Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?"

Extraordinairy Lunch Boxes

Hey guys. Looking good today.

So tonight at church, testimonies were shared, and, even though I didn't have the courage to get up and speak, I figured this is as good a place as any to share mine. 

I grew up in church, from day one, and my parents were always encouraging from the start. They both took turns teaching Sunday school classes, were both involved in the church...the whole nine yards. I grew up believing in Jesus, told every week he died for my sins, that He was forgiveness. And I believed it, but I don't think I completely understood. But I was okay with that, and I floated through the years without any huge stumbling block or struggle.

A seed was planted, but it hadn't had the chance to grow much. But it was definitely there. 

Between my sophomore and junior year of high school, I have to say I fell. I fell hard, and things didn't look like they were ever going to look up. I felt completely lost, empty, with no reason to move forward. 

I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I didn't talk to people. My trust felt betrayed, my mind felt mangled, and I felt manipulated. I didn't know why I was going forward each day, and I certainly didn't know how God fit into the equation. If He was so powerful, why did I feel so broken? 

And that's when the conclusion hit me; that because I was broken, because I was empty, because I felt so lost, He covered it all. That's why Jesus died for me, that's why He took on pain and suffering. 

For me. So I could be strong, even in my utter weakness. Because He would always be stronger. 

I felt like a new person. I had been truly saved. It was at church one night my senior year that it clicked. We were doing a lesson about forgiveness, and there were these slips of paper we were supposed to write our fears and faults on. I remember writing mine with tears in my eyes. I remembered the brokenness. 

And then we painted over them. 

And then we nailed them to a little wooden cross. 

And they were gone. He covered them, and it was a beautiful picture. 

Recently, those lost, worthless feelings have been hitting again. Some days, I feel myself slipping, just like I was in the past. 

I have this friend that knows everything I am going through, and recently, in a night of darkness and fear, I told her I felt like a failure, and that I wasn't the kind of person I ever intended to be. But she told me something important. 

"There are only two kinds of people. Lost and saved."

That's all she said. But I got it. I still am reveling over it. 

I am NOT lost; I have been saved. 

I can't be lost again, because I've already been saved. And nothing I can ever do can steal that salvation. No matter what direction I take, Jesus accepts and loves me BECAUSE I accepted and loved Him. All I have to do is trust Him. 

And what a beautiful picture that is. 

I know I rambled quite a bit, but I felt it was important to share. And I don't know if I said everything I intended, or if it made complete sense, but it is written from the perspective of a Saved person, and no matter how far I stray, I will never be lost. 

I love you guys, and there is someone much greater than me who loves you too. He always will, and his name is Jesus Christ. 

Bedazzled Tires {Saturday Song List Edition}

Okay, so today is Saturday Song List, but it's hard for me to focus on any kind of music when the release of

BLURRYFACEEEEEEEEEE

is so close! May 19th, guys. I can't wait. Like, I'm so excited you have no idea.

Anyway, that doesn't mean I'm not going to post some fun songs for the day. So, here it goes, I suppose (ah yes, the rhyme scheme there was very unintentional).

1. The Pantaloon-Twenty One Pilots

Obviously, tøp (clique for Twenty One Pilots) is going to be on my list today, because I'm pretty much listening to them on repeat until the 19th. And this song is a leetle strange, but it's very, very good, and it gives you a lot to think about. It's got some different lyrics, but if you listen carefully, they actually make complete sense. So, if you're willing, take a chance and give it a listen. Actually, please give it a chance.

2. Don't Stop (Color on the Wall) -Foster the People

I love Foster the People, and this is one of my favorite songs by them. It's a bumping' song, so listen to it if you're wanting to jam. It's also a very catchy ear worm, and will most likely be stuck in your head all day if you listen to it even once. But that shouldn't stop you...it's a good song that makes me want to dance.

3. 3 AM-Matchbox Twenty

Matchbox Twenty/Rob Thomas has been my fav for a very, very long time. I was pretty much raised listening to his voice by way of my lovely mother. But seriously, I know about every Rob Thomas song there is. I love this one, because I feel for the girl in the song up at 3 AM. It's a very good song to listen to at any time really, sort of chill but not slow. It's a good mood, and I would even suggest to listen to it AT 3 AM. Though you should really sleep instead. Like, don't stay up just to listen to it at 3 AM. Not a good idea.

So those are my three songs. They come from three very different genres today, but they all have equally good quality. Great quality actually. I'd give it three thumbs up, but I only have two, so two will have to suffice. But I'll smile when I hold 'em up, so maybe that will count for something.

Either way, I hope you have an excellent Saturday evening, and that you've found some music that you like at least once on here. Anyway, I bid you adieu my Bedazzled Tires. Stay cool.

Glowing Umbrellas

Hey guys, what up?!? Had a good day? Or a good afternoon? Maybe a good morning? A good evening? Ready for a good ole Saturday Song List tomorrow? (Lots of good music this week)

I hope it's been good. I hope you've been productive, or at least done something fun, and that you've tried, even just a little bit, to stay mildly positive for the day. 

Today, one of my best friend's is graduating high school, which is super exciting, and tomorrow, my other best friend's older sister is graduating! So, I've got a busy next 24 hours, with lots of fun things planned. 

I remember my graduation like it was last year...Maybe because it was last year....And even though the event itself was not that big of a deal, the feelings associated with it definitely were. I mean, come on! We graduated high school! It makes you think about all the memories you made, and most importantly, all the people you met. These people, that you may or may not see again, and whether you like it or not, had an influence on you. And you'll remember lots of them for years to come. 

Graduation is a big time, but it's another reminder of my most important mantra...keep moving forward. You are given a wonderful opportunity, and you just have to take it and run. You keep moving forward, chasing whatever dreams and goals you set, and no matter how many times you fall...

....you keep moving forward. Nothing can stop you now; no amount of struggle or strife or anxiety or fear. You've got this, no matter what it is. 

I'm sorry for the short post tonight, but I believe in all of you, you Glowing Umbrellas, and I know you will go far. 

Swinging Torch

Hey bloggers! Hope you enjoyed yesterday's guest reading, from my best friend Alyssa. I think she's a pretty good writer, right? Maybe it should be something she does more often...or not....I guess it depends on how she's feeling. But anyway, it was fun to read from the reader's point of view. And I will tell you, she too had a hard time coming up with a title...they're hard to make an even balance of making sense and making none!

It's been a busy day here, but a good day. I may or may not be addicted to twenty one pilots, just saying, but they make my days happier and help me stay positive. Their lyrics maybe be sad, but they can also be uplifting.

And staying positive is something really important, even when you feel like it's impossible. Even when the days are dragging on, or racing by, or just hitting you in the face like a brick wall, you have to keep moving forward with a smile on your face.

I'm not saying it's easy. But it is important. If you try to keep going with dark clouds circling your vision, and no hope to keep you going, it's so much harder. But if you look for the good things, or at least keep your eyes on the finish line, it may not be easier, but it keeps you focused on moving forward, which is sometimes all you can do.

Staying positive can help those around you too; if they see you moving forward and keeping on, it sometimes shows that they can, too. I know when I see people trying their best, even when I know they are moving through dark times, it encourages me. In fact, Alyssa encourages me all the time. She goes through more struggle and strife than I do, but she also smiles a heck of a lot more than me. And it reminds me to smile to.

So if you're feeling down, take a moment to smile. It may not help, but it's better than looking down, because the smile can be that rainbow cloud for someone else. I hope you have a good day, my swinging torches, and I love you guys.