Inflated Cheetos

Hey guys, what's up!? Hope you guys are having an excellent time!

So today, I cut my hair, and my new motto (which I actually laughed at for a long time) is care-free, hair free. Because now my hair is much shorter, and I am determined to stay worry free.

Also today, I am going to write about....the meaning of life.

Just kidding. But that is what my friend Alyssa suggested, and she also gave me a spoiler alert: ***the answer is 42***

No, but really, today I am having a really hard time finding inspiration, and motivation. So Alyssa is taking over.

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Hello again bloggers!!! This is your favorite of the dynamic duo of Jenna and Alyssa!!!

...actually probably not, but here I am anyways!!

Jenna's feeling really lame today and so I had to push her into to the floor so I could take over, because I have some things to say to you guys...so you better be ready.

*cracks knuckles*

Let's get down to business...to defeat the huns..

Well not really.

Okay. I'm done goofing off. As you could probably tell, I do not have much inspiration either and I am just being a good friend. So selfless and loving of me, am I right?

Well, actually that was a just a little clever ploy to segue into todays topic!!!

Can you guess what it is?

I'm waiting.

Wow y'all suck. It's love. (Actually shout out to those who guessed...here's a virtual high five)

Now, now. You guys stop complaining. This isn't what you think it's going to be about.

This is going to be about a selfless kind of love that I try to exemplify every single day...although I do not come close to accomplish.

And since I ended my last guest blog post with a cheesy quote, I will start this one with one. I had a film teacher who once told me "Be kind to all because you never know who's going through a fighting battle."

For some reason, this really stuck with me, because I feel like this is what  I think makes up a big part of what love is...treating everybody with kindness.

This is so important you guys. Like so important. Because everyone is human and everyone has circumstances that made them who they are and how they act and you really never know what is going on behind the scenes. One bad thing you say to them can ruin their day, but one good thing could change their whole perspective of their live maybe.

You just never know and so why not be kind.

This sucks and I have a whole lot of stuff I wanted to say on this subject, but couldn't find the words. So I will leave for you my favorite bible verse that is taped to my mirror at home:

"Let all that you do be done in love." 1 Corinthians 16:14

It's a good reminder and I challenge you to try to let love run your life in everything you do so that you can become more like Christ.

And maybe.

Just maybe.

You will turn someone's life around.

Thanks for letting me run this show again today. Now back to Jenna for your scheduled programming.




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Lastly, I have an important announcement:

I love my mother dearly. She is the best mother I have ever had. And I could not be here without her. I just love her so much.

And I love all of you, you inflated cheetos.

Paper Sailboats {Saturday Song List Edition}

Hey guys! Hope you are ready for some chill tunes, because honestly, that's what I've been jamming to this week. By the way, did I mention yesterday that I

AM GOING TO A TWENTY ONE PILOTS CONCERT IN OCTOBER?!?!??!?!

I am SOOOOO excited. I get to see al the songs I posted live and I'm pumped. Ah. Can't wait. Gonna meet Josh Dun. Yes.

Yes.

Anyway. Here are my three songs for the day:

1. Lakehouse-Of Monsters and Men

So Of Monsters and Men has some pretty great music in general, but I just love this song. It's very mellow, and perfect to paint to (if that's what you are into) or fall asleep to (if you sleep) (I don't). But her voice is just beautiful, and his has this curious twang that is mesmerizing. So go on ahead and give it a listen.

2. Photograph-Ed Sheeran

My dear mother has been singing this song to me all week, so I had to include it. I guess you can't not like Ed Sheeran, and this is a pretty good song. It's very quiet, chill, sort of sad. But I love it, and I love how it starts painting a picture with the lyrics. Also, it's not the Nickelback Photograph, so don't judge it by the title.

3. Message Man-Twenty One Pilots

HA! You thought I was going to do a Saturday Song List without twenty one pilots, didn't you? But they made it again this week. This is my favorite song off the album, even though I love every single song they've ever made. But there's something about this one that I just love. It's not rap, but it is poetry divided, and Tyler Joseph is the kind of guy who takes every moment he knows to make music. So go listen, you won't regret it.

I hope you enjoy today's music, and I hope you are having a great week! Today is Abby's birthday, so a big shoutout to her...HAPPY BDAY ABS!

Anyway, my paper sailboats, please get lots of sleep and enjoy the rest your weekend.

Violent Squash

Hey bloggers! I know it's a late one tonight, and I'm sorry. But it's been a nice, relatively busy day, and I've done lot of things.

Today, my friend Jill left for Canada. And right now, I'm feeling her loss hardcore. I can't text her anytime, and I can't call her when something goes wrong. But I know she is making amazing changes already where she is, and I'm so proud of her.

Tomorrow is my little sister, Abby's birthday, and she is growing up. I wrote her card today, and it made ME cry writing it. So we'll see what happens tomorrow.

And today...it happened.

I bought


TWENTY ONE PILOT CONCERT TICKETS.

I

AM

SO

EXCITED.

Like you don't understand. I screamed for ten minutes after purchasing the tickets, and I am going to a concert in the future. I am so pumped. I get to see Josh Dun on those drums, and I couldn't be happier.

Again, I'm sorry for the short post, my violent squashes, but I will see you all tomorrow.  And I love you all very much.

Rosemary Bagels

What up! Welcome back!!

Hope that you are having a good day, and that all things considered, you're smiling anyway. Today I have been out to get bagels (as you can see in the title), though they weren't rosemary, with my friend Alyssa and her sister, and let me just say....I love bagels. And we came home with a dozen (shhh).

We also went shopping for bedding for my dorm room next semester, and I have to say, I'm so excited to be going back to school. I didn't think I would be, but the more I think about it, the more exciting it gets. I really do believe that God sent me to my school for a reason, instead of the other ones I applied at, and I can't wait to see what this next semester has in store for me.

Waiting to see what's in store for me is something I am not very good at. You could say I'm impatient, but you'd be wrong.

I'm actually really impatient.

I have trouble making myself content with waiting, and the waiting process, but it's something I'm learning to work on. Because, though it may not feel like I'm doing anything, God is working in me. God is building me into the person I'm supposed to be on this earth, and the longer time goes on, the more and more walls inside of me start falling. In hard times, God is building something beautiful, and that is patience.

Looking back, when I think about the times I've gone through that have been more difficult than others, it wasn't apparent then what was happening. In the moment, it always feels like pain. Like being lost. Like hurt, like tears, and like fear. And I still face those things.

But looking at God, I see that He has this handy dandy way of holding on whenever I feel like I'm losing. I stray, but He pulls me back. I fall down, and He's there to pick me. I cry, and He's still holding on.

Every fall leads to a moment of perspective. A jump back up saying, "With God, I can do this. I will do this." And every moment teaches me something, whether it's a small lesson or a big one. And in every moment, I have to praise God. I have to praise Him with everything I've got, because He blessed me with so much.

When I hit the valleys, it's extremely hard to remember patience. To remember that His timing isn't what I expect, and isn't always what I want. But I keep walking anyway.

You may not feel like walking. You may feel like curling into a ball and stopping, because moving forward feels impossible. Looking at the road ahead is terrifying. And looking at the road behind is just as painful.

But wherever you are, God is there. God is there, and He knows what you are going through. He knows every piece of your pain, but God is Healing. God is Goodness and God is Love, and when you feel empty, He is there to fill you up.

It takes pain to create something beautiful, and I promise you that you are beautiful. No one is perfect, but God made everybody perfectly imperfect. Everyone has things to work on, but you are beautifully, wonderfully, and fearfully made. Every inch of you is a masterpiece, and if you are focused on God and God's plan, I promise you are shining.

Wherever you are, I believe in you. Whatever step is coming next, I know you can face it, because I'm going to face my next step, too. Do so with an open heart, and an open mind, and let God lead you where you need to go. Because His love never fails, and He won't lead you astray.

I love you, my rosemary bagels, and you shine with the stars. Stay beautiful.

Temporary Dragonflies

What's up homies? Are you ready for today? ARE YOU REAADDDY??!

Yeah, I don't know if I'm ready yet either, but I'm having coffee and then I'll be up and at it, whatever it is. I am super anxious about working, because not working or schooling or both is the weirdest feeling in the world. I'm ready to get back into a schedule.

Today, however, I did accept a job for next semester at school, which will put me at a class schedule of 19 hours and then my work week hours...which may or may not prove to be life threatening with Physics II, Calculus III, Linear Algebra, etc. etc. But! You know what? It'll be okay, because I'm going to power through. And I'm actually really looking forward to it, because all of my classes look really fun.

I get anxious a lot, though. And I get nervous about a lot of things, and I tend to worry much, much, much, much, much, much, much, (a few more muches) MUCH more than I should. But, amidst all my worries, when I put it in perspective,

What really is worrying going to do about something? What will I achieve by staying up until who knows when, staring at my ceiling, unraveling every thought I've had through the day and worrying about what I've done and what I've said. It doesn't help. In fact, I would venture to say, that worrying often makes things a heck of a lot worse.

In Matthew 6:27, Jesus says "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?". Well, can we?

No. The answer is no.

Anxiety and worry are too prone to taking the reins and saying to the rest of your brain, "Hey, I'm in charge now." And there isn't always an easy way to kick them out, especially if they lived there years and years and years.

But Jesus says to relax a little bit. He takes care of the birds in the sky; don't you mean so much more? Instead of taking the reins yourself from your worries, it's best to hand them straight to God. Because you know what? He knows exactly what He is doing, especially, especially when we definitely do not.

It's not our timing in life; it is far greater to trust in His timing. Because He knows the perfect way for things to work out.

If you're having fear or anxiety today, know that I'm praying for you. If you find yourself worrying, it may be time to hand those reins over, to give it all up to Him. And know that no matter what, it's going to be okay.

I love you guys, my temporary dragonflies. And I hope you have an excellent day.

Spacious Lily Pads

Hey bloggers...what's happening?!

Hope you're have a good Tuesday, and that you have a lot planned for the day. I've got some fun plans today....I'm meeting Alyssa to start getting ready for a bible study this summer. After (much) debate about where we are going to meet, it's good to finally have plans so we can start talking about 1 Peter.

1 Peter is one of my favorite books in the Bible, because it's always so encouraging, even in the deepest, darkest of times. My favorite verse, which I'm pretty sure I've told you guys about before, is 1 Peter 5:7, which is "Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you."

This verse never fails to remind me of the entire reason I am existing and moving forward and making changes. Because no matter what anxiety builds its wall against me, God is going to be there. And not because He has to, or because it is an obligation, but God promises to hold our fears and worries because-get this-He LOVES us. He doesn't like us, He isn't mildly fond of us...He loves us. Even when we feel unlovable. Even when it's hard to love ourselves.

Love from God isn't a cover-up. It isn't a momentary feel-good that takes away our anxiety long enough to let us breathe and then He says 'time-up'. God's love, and God's stability is unfailing, never-ending, amazing and overpowering, and above all things. All things.

All.

Have you ever felt lost with all the things that need to be done or that have been done or the things that are going to happen? God tells us that all of it can be gone if we give it away. We can freely give God whatever is on our heart, and if we learn to trust in Him and trust that he knows what he's doing, well...then all our anxieties become less overwhelming.

Trusting in God is, for something so simple, a little difficult sometimes. We hold onto life with both hands, knuckles white as we cling for dear life. But God will always be there to say, "I've got this. I've got you covered." Why? Because He loves us. How encouraging is that?

If you trust in God, you can have sound assurance that your life will not be for nothing. God will work all things towards goodness in ways we could never imagine. So don't hold on to fears and doubts and struggles and anxiety....give it to God. He wants to take it from you.

I hope that you can remember that today. That you can just remember, if nothing else, that God loves you SO MUCH for who you are, and nothing else. He loves you so much that He is willing to take on whatever you are facing. Not only is He willing, but He is perfectly able. Because our God is an awesome God.

I love you guys, too, my spacious lily pads, and I hope you have an excellent day.

Prepackaged Doorstops

Hey bloggers! How is your day going? What fun things have you been up to? What have you accomplished? Where have you been? What has been the highlight of your day?

If you don't know the answer to those questions, the clock is ticking and you still have time to go on an adventure. So buckle up, saddle up, lace up....whatever you want to call it, and have at it!

I myself am just about ready for an adventure. I'm ready to go explore what I haven't seen, meet people I haven't met, try things I've never even heard of before. I'm ready to spread my wings and take on whatever is out there to face me.

Things don't go as planned perfectly every time, in the exact way you want them to. But you always have opportunities at your doorstep, and for me, it's high time I start taking them. Going on out a limb, or two, or three could have limitless possibilities, and the only way you'll know where you're going is when you get there. So GO!

It doesn't have to be a physical journey, either. There are lots of leaps you can take without ever leaving your garage. Whether is creating or inventing or searching or seeking or praying or praising...make every moment worth it. Make it count. Make it important. And most importantly...

Don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing you have to do one thing,

please one person,

BE something you are not.

You are your own person, and if you don't know who that is...it may be time for a long talk with God. You are His beloved creation, and He loves you because you are you.

So go figure out who that you is. Go start making the You that you want to be, because I promise it's never too late. Even if you think you are locked in a tight little frame of what is expected and what you've become, you can always turn it around. It takes work, emotional and physical and definitely spiritual, but it is always worth it when you find yourself and what you are made for.

I love you guys, my prepackaged doorsteps, and I will believe in you wherever you go. You are awesome. No matter who you are.

Flowered Diving Boards

Happy Sunday! I hope you're keeping it a happy Sunday anyway, and if not, go do something that makes you happy and then come back. Otherwise, keep reading. Maybe reading makes you happy, maybe...okay, I'll stop rambling.

Anywho, it's been a happy day here. After church today, we met at our youth leaders pool for a day in the (cloudy) sun (with a slight chance of rain). Some people are coming over later tonight for a sleepover, and then tomorrow will start a brand new week.

But for now, I'm basking in the sun. Last night my friend and I watched a movie, that was fairly good by the way, that focused a lot on optimism and pessimism.

Optimism, no matter who's wearing it, looks pretty good. And a smile can add a lot , too. Because, when you're optimistic, you start to MAKE things look up. Nothing is ever going to go perfect, and the only thing that is certain about the future is that nothing is certain. So you have to take life as it comes, and, here's the ticket:

Make the best out of it.

I know. Cliché. But it's so true, and you have the power to decide how you face the world. You have the power to decide what attitude you approach with, and whether or not you are going to look and aim for the best.

When you are aiming for the best, it's not just for yourself...you are becoming a light for every person you touch in your life. Think about dark times and dark moments...what do you see first? What do you remember most? If you haven't guessed, it's the light.

Being a light is letting everyone else know it's okay, even when it doesn't always feel like it. Because hope can be the most inspiring thing in the world.

I hope your Sunday continues to be well, my flowered diving boards, and that your light is shining. I love you guys.

Stained Glass Shampoo Bottles {Saturday Song List Edition}

As promised, today won't be completely twenty-one pilots. But, as you will see, I can't completely leave them out. Anyway, today has been a fairly good day...

I got a cactus. His name is Joseph, and he has a flower hot-glued to the top of him. Yeah, weird, I know. But for some reason, he came like that, so I'm not judging. He's only a few inches tall right now, but apparently it can grow to be like 6 feet....we'll see, we'll see.

On to the music!

1. The Judge-Twenty One Pilots

This one is off the brand new album, Blurryface. It's all quiet at first, and then a ukulele starts strumming and it's beautiful. And there are some high notes in there that I (unfortunately) can't hit, but Tyler most definitely can. I really want to hear an acoustic version of it, maybe around a campfire or something. Anyway, this song is great.

2. Mykonos-Fleet Foxes

I love this song and I've loved it for a long time...it's very indie feeling I guess, but I love it so much. The voices are good, the music is good...it makes you feel like you're on this tall mountain overlooking the beach or something along those lines.

3. Hometown-Twenty One Pilots

Also from Blurryface.........anyway. This one has a very 80s feel to it, and my friend Alyssa says it reminds her of the band One Night Only. The beginning is my favorite part but it's very airy and lofty until the main beat slips in but it's so so so GOOOOOD. All of their songs are good. So yeah. Go listen.


All the songs make me feel so happy, so I hope you like them, and I hope you are enjoying your Saturday. They really are all pretty feel-good songs, and they feel happy. For the most part. I guess it depends on your interpretation, but they all have a pretty good beat.

Anyway, I love you guys, my stained glass shampoo bottles, and I will see you all tomorrow!

Illuminated Silverware

Hey-o my friends. So I'm super pumped about tomorrow's blog, because I can finally FINALLY put some music from Blurryface on the Saturday Song List, but no worries....I will refrain from putting only tøp on there. I know everyone isn't as big of a fan. Though I don't know why. But that's okay.

Anyway, I've had a fun last two days because my friends Jill and Christi from school visited. And even though we didn't do a whole lot, I wouldn't trade a single second of it, because today is probably the last time I will see Jill before she goes on her mission trip.

Jill is pretty cool, I suppose, and although there are a lot of things I could list, I think one of coolest things about her is her passion. And it's a kind of passion that I think defines one of the biggest questions in the universe, and it goes along the lines of, what exactly is life?

While there are a lot of answers, right, wrong...a big one, I think, is finding something you love and letting it lead you places. Jill's passion is for teaching, and no matter what she does career-wise or future-wise, she'll never not be a teacher. It's something she loves, and something she is good at. And so no matter what direction she goes, that teaching capability and lifestyle is going to shape everything she does.

My friend Alyssa's passion is encouragement. And no matter what career she finds herself in, her encouraging personality and attitudes are going to follow her through every single thing that she does. And it's pretty inspiring.

I've spent a long time thinking through my life what my passion is, and while there are many, many things that I love and that inspire me, I think writing is something that I couldn't let go of, even if I tried. Whether I am a good writer, or a bad writer, I can't change the way it makes me feel, or the way it makes me think. It's sort of like breathing, and if you think about your passion, you'll understand.

When you love something, you don't think about it. It just happens. Jill teaches without intending to; she sets herself up as a role model, someone to follow, whether she's aware or not. Alyssa encourages like it's second nature; she goes out of her way to keep people's thoughts focused on what's up, not down below. And whether I write for public or private eye, I can't go a day without it.

Your passion becomes a part of you, and the more you nurture it, the more it grows. The more you acknowledge it, the stronger it becomes. And the more you practice it, the more people it can reach. And if you are passionate about something, I think it will make a difference.

So, my illuminated silverware, no matter who you are, you have a passion. And the world is dying to see what you are going to do with it, whether it's what your career revolves around, what your day-to-day becomes, what you do when no one is looking. Don't let that piece of you just sit there, because whatever you do, it will be done for good.

Go do good deeds, my friends. I love you all.

Voluminous Squirrels

Hello bloggers. Today's title was inspired by my friend Whitney, who A) has a birthday today, and B) is a beautiful person. So today, you are all squirrels.

Anywho, I hope you are having a wonderful day, and if you aren't, try on a smile for size. It may help out a bit. Today has been a fairly good day. I received a job offer today from my local grocery store, and I am SUPER pumped to get started. I will be working with my best friend, Alyssa, which is even more exciting!

It should keep me busy this summer, and I hope it's some great experience. It's not my first job, but I'm looking forward to it.

As you all know very well, life has this not-so-exciting habit of throwing us curveballs, and then sometimes, it likes to go ahead and run towards us with a baseball bat charging full steam ahead. We can feel pretty beaten down and broken, and it feels like it gets a little harder to get back up each time it happens. And don't worry...it happens to everyone. I promise it's not just you.

Life isn't fair, you guys. That's all there is to it.

And as much as I repeat and repeat and repeat that phrase to myself, and as much as I know for sure that it's true, it still isn't the easiest pill to swallow. But the upside is this...life doesn't have to be fair. Life doesn't owe us anything. It's not going to be fair because we ask it to or we want it to (I promise there is an upside, you guys). And life certainly isn't going to try it's best to make it easy for us.

But the upside is this...we have two metaphorical and even literal feet that just keep walking. Life may have a nasty habit of bringing us down, but people in general have this pretty exciting habit of continually trying and moving forward.

No matter what's bringing you down, you can hop on those two metaphorical/literal feet and be a little bit stronger, a little bit better, a little bit wiser because of it. And then all the sudden you have the awesome story to tell about how the baseball bat was coming for you and you are still here to tell the story. How great is that?

Life may not be easy. But there is so much it has to offer to you. So get back on your feet and keep putting one in front of the other. I believe in you guys, and honestly, life believes in you.

Go own today, because you are so much STRONGER than whatever gets thrown at you. Believe me.

I love you guys, you voluminous squirrels. And a very happy birthday to my friend Whitney.

Sparkling Album Covers

My coffee is steaming all in front of my computer screen, and I can't tell if it's aesthetic or humorous, but either way it looks pretty cool.

I hope you are all having a wonderful day, or at least that you are planning for a wonderful day. If not, go ahead and plan for a wonderful day, because you look wonderful today, and you should always match your days. It's considered polite, or something.

God made each of us spectacular for a spectacularly different reason, my friends. He gave each of us something different, or someone different, or somewhere different to lift up His name and spread it far and wide. It's not a name just to be whispered, either. It is to be shouted from the rooftops, sung (sang? singed?) to the sky, and praised in music and dance.

I hope if you are feeling scared or anxious, or lost or confused, that your lips can at least remember that much. That it's not all about us, and it's definitely not all about what we're worried about. We can use our fears and anxiety to lift Him up, and believe me, if you're trusting Him, He will use something.

He has a plan for everything, and if you don't quite understand that plan, take a moment and pray about it. Pray, because the only place we can look for answers is Up. If you have a more questions than you ever imagined, and if you feel more scared than happy, pray. "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Continually.

See, His will doesn't seem that hard, right? What's hard about staying joyful, praying constantly and consistently, and praising even in times of trouble?

So it's a little harder than it seems; I understand. I don't uphold those three simple things everyday and all the time, even when I know I should. It's hard to stay happy when you feel so down.

But if you pay attention, it doesn't say be happy always. It says joyful, and I think there's a difference.
Joy, to me, is more than smiling and laughing and not being sad. Joy is a more constant feeling, and more pure feeling. Joy is a constant assurance that there is hope despite what you are feeling. Joy is something we can have in the darkest of darkest, in the most quiet times. Joy, that we are promised peace one day, no matter how far in the future that is. We have a piece of that peace buried in our soul, a peace knowing that tomorrow isn't scary because we are going into with God in the lead, with God taking the reins. Because He knows where to lead us.

We follow.

If you don't know Christ, He's there, waiting. And despite everything, He loves you. No matter what you may think you've done; He loves you. If you want that constant Joy, it's there for the taking, a gift made completely and purely for you.

If you do know Christ, I hope you remember that Joy today. Be joyful and know that no matter what, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay because our hope isn't focused on the things down here that can look so broken.

I love you guys, my sparkling album covers, and don't forget that you look wonderful, so make it wonderful.

Carbonated Azaleas

Hey guys; what's up? It's a nice day today, at least here it is. Very sunny, actually hoping for a campfire tonight.

Maybe.

Anyway, today I'm coming to you with a sort of shift. I realized I've kind of come up with a motto on this here blog, if you've been reading for a while, and that is Keep Moving Forward (maybe I didn't come up with it...I suppose that was Walt Disney. Fact Check). But I have been using it quite a bit. Because when you feel lost, it's a good thing to do.

But I'm going to tweak my advice a bit thanks to a video I watched today. Keep moving forward is still pretty valid; in fact it's the greatest option sometimes. But it needs an addition, an extra, or maybe a main focus:

Keep moving forward, and keep looking up.

We can't keep our eyes down here, because there isn't much encouragement. Not that the earth is completely desolate and discouraging, but it can feel like it sometimes. But there is someone who is never discouraging, never going to tell us to give up or even let us give up.

Because we have to focus on the heavens, and keep looking up to God. If we keep our eyes chained to the skies (metaphorically), we are constantly, continually, completely renewed and reminded that there is something much better waiting on us.

We have a purpose down here, so we can't give up. And we surely can't quit, and it is impossible to go backwards. So we have to keep moving forward with our chins held high and hearts open for change.

I hope if you are struggling, doubting, feeling lost, feeling broken, feeling let down, or feeling like a let down...that you know you aren't alone. Ever. There are people here to lift you up, but more importantly, there is our Father there to hold your hand even after you get up. To hold you tight and comfort you when you feel uncomfortable. To love you when you feel unlovable. To uphold every promise when you feel like you are breaking all of yours.

Stay focused on the heavens, and stay focused on a Savior who is fully focused on you. You were made to love, and be loved. Don't get distracted in trying to figure out your purpose; that's been decided. You just have to keep moving forward until it's achieved; because if you're looking up and focusing on Him, He'll lead you to your purpose. I know it.

I love all of you, my carbonated azaleas, and you are far greater than you will ever know. Have a wonderful afternoon.

Scattered Batteries

Hey what's up, my homies? Hope you are having a good morning. And I know! So early for me this time...I mean, the sun hasn't even set yet, right? What am I doing?

I apologize for the evening blogging recently; I've been busier than I expected. Even this took some thought beforehand because I figure I'm going to be busy today as well.

But it's a good kind of busy, I suppose. Catching up with friends, taking small adventures. The fun stuff. Hopefully I'll be working soon, which is good as well.

I want to talk about fear today, because fear is something that comes a lot, but doesn't always get answered. Everyone is afraid of something, and no matter how irrational it is, it can't always be fixed. It's hard to do anything if fear has its fingers on the puppet strings.

Think about it. What are you afraid of? I probably can't talk you out of it, even if I am an expert and had a list of a hundred and one reasons why it's irrational. But instead of talking you out of being afraid, I'll try instead to talk you into realizing you are so much braver and bigger than your fear.

Fear can be paralyzing, until we recognize it, that is. Once recognized, it loses a little bit of its power. You know it's there, you know what it is....believe me...no one knows your fear better than you do. And I read somewhere recently, that fear makes you aware. It makes you aware of every detail, and you are suddenly empowered to make more of a difference than ever before.

So take your fear, wrap it up, and make something. Be it poetry, be it art, music, sports, CHANGE. Whatever. Use it to your advantage, and don't let it control.

Just because I fear my own thoughts, doesn't mean I can't use them to make poetry. And even though I don't consider myself a Grade A poet, I think when it's poetry from the deepest parts of my soul, it means something.

Make your fear mean something. Don't let it be just anything, what it wants. Tie a chain around it and make it what you want. Because let me tell you something I wish I had heard/understood much earlier in time:

Out of all the people in the world, you-and only you-are in control of your life. God gave us choice, long, long ago; He gave man the decision to choose their path, and it is up to us to choose His will or not.

But fear doesn't choose the path for us. We do. And you, my friend, are most certainly not your fear.

You are so, so much more.

I love you guys, my scattered batteries. Stay cool, and do not fear.


Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?"

Extraordinairy Lunch Boxes

Hey guys. Looking good today.

So tonight at church, testimonies were shared, and, even though I didn't have the courage to get up and speak, I figured this is as good a place as any to share mine. 

I grew up in church, from day one, and my parents were always encouraging from the start. They both took turns teaching Sunday school classes, were both involved in the church...the whole nine yards. I grew up believing in Jesus, told every week he died for my sins, that He was forgiveness. And I believed it, but I don't think I completely understood. But I was okay with that, and I floated through the years without any huge stumbling block or struggle.

A seed was planted, but it hadn't had the chance to grow much. But it was definitely there. 

Between my sophomore and junior year of high school, I have to say I fell. I fell hard, and things didn't look like they were ever going to look up. I felt completely lost, empty, with no reason to move forward. 

I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I didn't talk to people. My trust felt betrayed, my mind felt mangled, and I felt manipulated. I didn't know why I was going forward each day, and I certainly didn't know how God fit into the equation. If He was so powerful, why did I feel so broken? 

And that's when the conclusion hit me; that because I was broken, because I was empty, because I felt so lost, He covered it all. That's why Jesus died for me, that's why He took on pain and suffering. 

For me. So I could be strong, even in my utter weakness. Because He would always be stronger. 

I felt like a new person. I had been truly saved. It was at church one night my senior year that it clicked. We were doing a lesson about forgiveness, and there were these slips of paper we were supposed to write our fears and faults on. I remember writing mine with tears in my eyes. I remembered the brokenness. 

And then we painted over them. 

And then we nailed them to a little wooden cross. 

And they were gone. He covered them, and it was a beautiful picture. 

Recently, those lost, worthless feelings have been hitting again. Some days, I feel myself slipping, just like I was in the past. 

I have this friend that knows everything I am going through, and recently, in a night of darkness and fear, I told her I felt like a failure, and that I wasn't the kind of person I ever intended to be. But she told me something important. 

"There are only two kinds of people. Lost and saved."

That's all she said. But I got it. I still am reveling over it. 

I am NOT lost; I have been saved. 

I can't be lost again, because I've already been saved. And nothing I can ever do can steal that salvation. No matter what direction I take, Jesus accepts and loves me BECAUSE I accepted and loved Him. All I have to do is trust Him. 

And what a beautiful picture that is. 

I know I rambled quite a bit, but I felt it was important to share. And I don't know if I said everything I intended, or if it made complete sense, but it is written from the perspective of a Saved person, and no matter how far I stray, I will never be lost. 

I love you guys, and there is someone much greater than me who loves you too. He always will, and his name is Jesus Christ. 

Bedazzled Tires {Saturday Song List Edition}

Okay, so today is Saturday Song List, but it's hard for me to focus on any kind of music when the release of

BLURRYFACEEEEEEEEEE

is so close! May 19th, guys. I can't wait. Like, I'm so excited you have no idea.

Anyway, that doesn't mean I'm not going to post some fun songs for the day. So, here it goes, I suppose (ah yes, the rhyme scheme there was very unintentional).

1. The Pantaloon-Twenty One Pilots

Obviously, tøp (clique for Twenty One Pilots) is going to be on my list today, because I'm pretty much listening to them on repeat until the 19th. And this song is a leetle strange, but it's very, very good, and it gives you a lot to think about. It's got some different lyrics, but if you listen carefully, they actually make complete sense. So, if you're willing, take a chance and give it a listen. Actually, please give it a chance.

2. Don't Stop (Color on the Wall) -Foster the People

I love Foster the People, and this is one of my favorite songs by them. It's a bumping' song, so listen to it if you're wanting to jam. It's also a very catchy ear worm, and will most likely be stuck in your head all day if you listen to it even once. But that shouldn't stop you...it's a good song that makes me want to dance.

3. 3 AM-Matchbox Twenty

Matchbox Twenty/Rob Thomas has been my fav for a very, very long time. I was pretty much raised listening to his voice by way of my lovely mother. But seriously, I know about every Rob Thomas song there is. I love this one, because I feel for the girl in the song up at 3 AM. It's a very good song to listen to at any time really, sort of chill but not slow. It's a good mood, and I would even suggest to listen to it AT 3 AM. Though you should really sleep instead. Like, don't stay up just to listen to it at 3 AM. Not a good idea.

So those are my three songs. They come from three very different genres today, but they all have equally good quality. Great quality actually. I'd give it three thumbs up, but I only have two, so two will have to suffice. But I'll smile when I hold 'em up, so maybe that will count for something.

Either way, I hope you have an excellent Saturday evening, and that you've found some music that you like at least once on here. Anyway, I bid you adieu my Bedazzled Tires. Stay cool.

Glowing Umbrellas

Hey guys, what up?!? Had a good day? Or a good afternoon? Maybe a good morning? A good evening? Ready for a good ole Saturday Song List tomorrow? (Lots of good music this week)

I hope it's been good. I hope you've been productive, or at least done something fun, and that you've tried, even just a little bit, to stay mildly positive for the day. 

Today, one of my best friend's is graduating high school, which is super exciting, and tomorrow, my other best friend's older sister is graduating! So, I've got a busy next 24 hours, with lots of fun things planned. 

I remember my graduation like it was last year...Maybe because it was last year....And even though the event itself was not that big of a deal, the feelings associated with it definitely were. I mean, come on! We graduated high school! It makes you think about all the memories you made, and most importantly, all the people you met. These people, that you may or may not see again, and whether you like it or not, had an influence on you. And you'll remember lots of them for years to come. 

Graduation is a big time, but it's another reminder of my most important mantra...keep moving forward. You are given a wonderful opportunity, and you just have to take it and run. You keep moving forward, chasing whatever dreams and goals you set, and no matter how many times you fall...

....you keep moving forward. Nothing can stop you now; no amount of struggle or strife or anxiety or fear. You've got this, no matter what it is. 

I'm sorry for the short post tonight, but I believe in all of you, you Glowing Umbrellas, and I know you will go far. 

Swinging Torch

Hey bloggers! Hope you enjoyed yesterday's guest reading, from my best friend Alyssa. I think she's a pretty good writer, right? Maybe it should be something she does more often...or not....I guess it depends on how she's feeling. But anyway, it was fun to read from the reader's point of view. And I will tell you, she too had a hard time coming up with a title...they're hard to make an even balance of making sense and making none!

It's been a busy day here, but a good day. I may or may not be addicted to twenty one pilots, just saying, but they make my days happier and help me stay positive. Their lyrics maybe be sad, but they can also be uplifting.

And staying positive is something really important, even when you feel like it's impossible. Even when the days are dragging on, or racing by, or just hitting you in the face like a brick wall, you have to keep moving forward with a smile on your face.

I'm not saying it's easy. But it is important. If you try to keep going with dark clouds circling your vision, and no hope to keep you going, it's so much harder. But if you look for the good things, or at least keep your eyes on the finish line, it may not be easier, but it keeps you focused on moving forward, which is sometimes all you can do.

Staying positive can help those around you too; if they see you moving forward and keeping on, it sometimes shows that they can, too. I know when I see people trying their best, even when I know they are moving through dark times, it encourages me. In fact, Alyssa encourages me all the time. She goes through more struggle and strife than I do, but she also smiles a heck of a lot more than me. And it reminds me to smile to.

So if you're feeling down, take a moment to smile. It may not help, but it's better than looking down, because the smile can be that rainbow cloud for someone else. I hope you have a good day, my swinging torches, and I love you guys.

Green Guitars

Hey wassup my OGs? 

...That means original gangster for all you not hip people...

Anyways...It is hump day and I just got done enoing with some preeettttyyy aweome people. And, as you probably have (not) guessed, this is not Jenna. It's actually her best friend Alyssa here...writing her a blog post. 

WHAAAAT??????!!!!?? NOT JENNA??!?!??!??!?!???!?!??!

I know, I know. This wasn't what you were expecting, but is anything really? And are we reallu happy with what we get in the end?
(hahaha smooth transition there)

Well since we got introductions out of the way, today we will be talking about something Jenna has touched on before, but it is something I have been struggling with: wishful thinking and being content at where you are and with what you have.

So, first, I will start off with a question: Have you ever been at  pinnacle in your life where everything is so awesome and you're so happy, but then that time changes and you don't feel that way anymore and all you want is to get back to that time where you were happy? Well, this may not ring familiar with you, but it sure does hit me in the gut...and makes my gut actually hurt with what we call wishful thinking. 

Right now at this point in my life I have been doing quite a lot of this and I have come to the realization that it is dangerous. Very dangerous.

I wish things were different. This is a phrase that I have been thinking to myself lately and it seems so innocent, however if you get caught up in it...in only those five single words, you can't enjoy all other words and things in your life. I mean, if the thing you wish was different can be changed and made different, then good for you. But, most times it's things we can't change. 

Let me repeat that again.

It is things we can't change. 

That can't has large weight on it for being such a small word, doesn't it?

We, or rather I should say I, can't sit around saying "I wish I went here...I wish this had happened and not this...blah blah blah". This is because it leads us to not have the ability to be content in our lives. We can't enjoy the things and people and times around us. It sucks. Yeah. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Things can't always be as good as they were in the past, but they can still be good.. You just have to be able to move on and enjoy life as it goes. 

And not keep looking behind your shoulder. Have you ever tried to walk through a wooded forest while looking behind you at the beautiful  flat field you just left? If you haven't...DO NOT TRY AT HOME, because you will trip. You will fall. You will get hurt. And you won't be able to see the small beauties in front of you because you will be flat on your face. Wishful thinking is painful and addicting, but it inhibits and holds you back...and causes you to trip up. 

And after that little anecdote, I have come to the point to say we need to learn to be content. 

You know, thinking about this whole thing reminds me of someone who needed to learn to be content. This person is Paul and he was in prison for many years and in his letter to the Philippians he states

"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-12

Now this is a man who has been in prison for years. He's been through so much and he is sitting there writing and saying that he is CONTENT. How can he be content??????!!?!??!

Well, he has stopped looking back and he has kept looking forward...And most importantly, he has God and he trusts his happiness in God's hands at all time.

If we stop trying to control what makes us happy and let God take the reins for a while, maybe..just maybe, we can be content at where we are. I know I'm having trouble with this and so I know it's not easy. It takes a lot of prayer...and not the prayer asking for things to change or to have certain things. This prayer is one asking to be content with what our situation is...even if we feel like no one is listening.

With all that being said, OGGs (That's Original Green Guitars)...be cautious in what you wish for and don't let wishful thinking ensnare and hold you back. Enjoy the present and don't let the past haunt you.

And so readers...I hope you have a wonderful day and before you leave, I will leave with a really cheesy quote (that I had to google to find out who said it)..

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” - Bill Keane

Haha...punny AND inspirational, am I right?

Coffee-Flavored Jelly Beans

pssssst.... 

21 Pilots released a new song.

Go....go listen.....

It's called Ride....

What? What was that? Did you hear something? Yeah...I don't even know, man.

Anyway. I hope today, you've had an excellent day and that you've taken a few moments of relaxation and reflection. Today I had many adventures, between interviews and SUSHI and driving and (pretending to be) swimming, jamming to new music, and working. Whoop whoop!

I saw a rainbow today, but it was just a single cloud. It was one wisp of a cloud, very beautiful, but it was absolutely positively on fire with color. It was the coolest thing, but it was just a blip in the middle of the sky for a long time. I had never seen anything like it.

Don't get me wrong, the rest of the clouds and the sky and what-not was equally beautiful, but this cloud just stuck out, in the middle of a sea of blue and white. It was a spot of color where everything else felt simple, and rolling, and moving on.

This cloud spoke to me; weird, I know. I don't mean it had literal words, though that could be cool. But it was like when an artist finds inspiration, or a writer gets a whiff of what to write next. This little rainbow was a blip of a promise, a blip of a better day. A moment out of a thousand years. A spot in the center of the universe. A person in a sea of faces.

Sometimes, it just feels like I'm floating. What anchor is there to keep me down when problems boil up like a pot of water when you're cooking spaghetti. The water gets higher and higher, popping and steaming and scalding whatever comes close. But you stay too long in the heat and you become numb. You forget what is supposed to burn and you simply float.

Sometimes, there's a person, or a moment, or a rainbow cloud to tell you to jump out of the water as fast as you can. To get moving in the right direction, to leave the floating to the bubbles, and do something. To wake up and feel the pain, and feel the gain. Cheesy, but true sometimes.

You can't plan rainbow clouds, either. Which is the hard part. They come along and remind you to keep your heart in the Plan and your eyes on the finish line. But they always come at the time they are supposed to, the time they've been put there.

So I hope if you are going through hard times, and if your thoughts are starting to become your demons, that you remember there is a reason to keep going. There is a reason to stay focused, and that is A) That it may be hard, but it will be okay. There's a bigger plan in action than what you are feeling, I promise. And B) One day you could be a rainbow cloud for someone.

I know I have one.

I love you, coffee-flavored jellybeans, and I hope you find some peace.

Silver Frisbees

Welcome welcome! I hope you have all had an excellent day.

My day has been filled with all sorts of adventures, from pianos to packing, disc golf to lake-walking, fun adventures down back roads, and in general just a good day.

Sometimes exploring can be the greatest thing in the world; the trees green and leaves intertwining with one another, dirt paths and dirty trees fallen along the rocks...everything is so pretty. And it gives you a lot of time to think. It's quiet in the woods, aside from the buzzing of bugs and the creaking of branches...but it's a good kind of noise. Relaxing. Peaceful. Natural.

Today, as I was exploring, I was thinking about how important quiet time is. If you don't take a few moments, just to yourself, to be silent, and be thoughtful, sometimes you can get so caught up in the day-to-day stuff that you forget why you are moving forward. Things keep hitting you like one of those baseball machines that just keeps shooting, until you can hit.

Sometimes, you need to take a minute before you swing again. A time for reflection and renewal, otherwise your arms get sore. Your arms get sore, and your eyes get blurry, and you begin missing more than you are hitting. And that's when you know you need to stop.

I needed a break. I was swinging aimlessly, but nothing was connecting. Days were flying at me faster than I could handle, but they each felt like ten thousand years of confusion. If you are feeling lost, or tired, or confused, or overwhelmed...

Take that quiet time. Take a minute just to breathe in, breathe out, and pray. Pray that you focus on what matters, not what doesn't. That you take the little things as they come, the road bumps, and move forward. Keep moving forward. It's all we've got.

So I hope you aren't tired and weary, but if you are, I hope you find time to take a moment just to think and pray. And I hope you fly high, you silver frisbees. Have a fabulous rest of your evening.

Chocolate Covered Daisies

Hello, bloggers. Hope you have had an excellent, fantastic Mother's Day. And if you haven't wished your mother a happy one yet, you need to.

So like, go now. Maybe bring her flowers. And give her a hug. Or like, buy her a new car (Okay, you don't have to do that one. In fact, you might shouldn't.).

Whatever. Whatever you do, show her how much you appreciate her; because,  I don't know about you guys, but my mother is pretty awesome. In fact, she's more than awesome, and not just because of all the awesome things she does. She just embodies awesomeness if that makes sense. And I probably don't tell her enough.

Sometimes, we look over the people we love the most, because we just assume they know how we feel about them. But not everyone can read what's going through your brain, and everyone loves being loved and appreciated. So if you haven't today, take a second to remind the person who is most important in your life that they are just that: important. That they mean something. That they matter.

That reminder can be uplifting even in the darkest days. To hear that someone else likes you for exactly who you are, that you don't need to change to fit their desires and expectations...that is something spectacular. And that you will love them even if they change.

My mom may not hear it enough. But I love her, even if she changes. And what is even greater, is that she loves me, even if I change. It's a Christ-like love that shines through everything she does, and it shows me every day how I'm supposed to treat people. To love without expecting anything in return. While sometimes she may expect me to call her when I'm away, or do the dishes when I'm home, or do laundry when it piles up, that's not why she loves me...I certainly hope not. It's something more than that.

Today is a good reminder of how much I owe to my mom, and how much people owe to their mom's all over. So Happy Mother's Day, my Chocolate Covered Daisies, and don't forget how important you are.

Home-cooked Musicals {Saturday Song List Edition}

Hello hello and welcome to this week's Saturday Song List Edition!

It's nice and hot and rainy here, although the sun has come out a little bit! I'm enoing, in my backyard, but it feels super good. So as I jammed to some tunes, I decided to give you guys some tunes to jam to.

1. Implicit Demand for Proof- Twenty One Pilots

Okay. So, I'll just say this now...you make think this song is weird. But it's Twenty One Pilots so frankly, I'm not that concerned. It's excellent excellent excellent and I love it with all of my heart. In fact, it's a great album if you want that too. But seriously, I love this song. Especially at 2 AM.

2. Honey I'm Good-Andy Grammar

IM EMBARRASSED I LIKE THIS SONG SO MUCH. You've probably heard it; it's been on the radio a while. It's so poppy and so catch y and I just can't help singing along to it. It does kind of make you feel good when it ends, though, so there's something..

3. In the Garden-Elvis Presley

I heard this song for the first time one morning while I was playing piano in church, and I seriously just love it. I love the mood and the lyrics and the voice..it's so beautiful, and it makes me smile. It's kind of slow, but it's worth the listen if you haven't heard it.

So there are my three songs. I hope you semi-sorta-kinda like them, but you don't have to. In fact, if you have some good songs, I'd love to hear them!

I hope you all have an excellent day, my home cooked musicals, and that you can find peace and stillness, for a moment at least. I love you guys, and hope you know that everything will be okay.

Enjoy your Saturday.

Shiny Ukuleles

Hey guys! How's it going!

Today, I'm posting from my phone today, so I apologize in advance for format and grammar. But I hope you've had a good day, and that you are not too stressed out with anything.

Today, I kind of want to talk about moving on. Because I know sometimes it is the last thing you want to do, and that sometimes it's the hardest thing to do. But sometimes, it's the war thing to do.

Things come around in life that mean something to us, that we grow to love, that sometimes love us. But as time passes, we find that those people and those things are not the best for us, and when they leave,we hurt longer after they leave than they stayed.

It's hard to know when to let them go; but it's possible. Because sometimes, when one thing leaves, something much, much better will take its place. But when that will happen, we don't know. We aren't given a future forecast ever, we just have to trust that the Plan is wha is best for us.

And God is in control of that plan. So we have to trust HIM to lead us to what is Good and righteous.

So I hope you all are trusting in something bigger than whatever you are facing. Please remember that I love you, you shiny ukuleles , and I hope you have a great day.

Floral Chessboards

I'M HOME!

I took my last exam today, and let me tell you...it felt so good to walk out of that classroom. I mean, I have no idea what I made on it, and it's physics, so it was a little draining, but leaving the building, walking down the steps, and breathing in the sunshine made it all worth it.

After some almost-teary-goodbyes (almost teary on my part...but I kept it together), I drove home for the summer and am currently unpacking. And you wouldn't believe how much I have accumulated over the semester...Let's put it this way. There isn't a path through my room right now.

But tomorrow will be summer cleaning, and laundry day...Oh laundry. And I will have a day off from school and studies and finals and responsibilities. Just for a day. And then it's back into action.

This summer, I'm going to try and hold a Girl's Bible Study for the girls in my church, and my friend Alyssa and I are currently trying to get everything together for it. I only ask for prayers on how to lead something like this, and that the Lord speaks through us so we can offer something to these girls.

Anyway. I'm SUPS excited to be home, and as much as I am sincerely going to miss my college adventures and definitely my college friends...I'm ready for the warm weather and lazy days. Oh. And work.

I hope you all have a great evening, my Floral Chessboards, and that you get some well-needed rest. I love you guys.

Chevron Strawberries

What's up, homies?

It's the end of the semester, and it feels like I should sleep for the next four weeks. Or five. Or maybe six. I don't know, but I'm exhausted. I took my chemistry final this morning, and I've been packing my car since then, but it has been one long day. And tomorrow is my physics exam!

As everyone says their final goodbyes until next fall, and the boxes and bags disappear from the lobby, I start to get a little sad. Or a lot sad, I suppose. I'm really going to miss everyone this summer, especially the ones that live farther than an afternoon drive away. And especially the ones that are going to be gone for ten weeks out of the summer for a mission trip. Those may be the hardest to say goodbye to.

But we'll all be back in the fall, and that's why I'm not too sad. But still, after a year of practically living with these people, it's going to be different going home when they aren't a couple floors away, or at least a five minute walk away. When we can't up and field-trip to Chick-fil-a or Burger King whenever we are hungry. When we can't lay on each other's floor and cry about our studies. When we can't listen to each other get updates on weird doctor Snapchat stories. When we can't laugh about throwing tissues on each other's heads.

It's been a good year, no matter how hard, and scary, and confusing, and overwhelming it's been. It has been good because I've made friends I wouldn't trade for anyone. Even the ones I'm not friends with anymore still made for good memories, and tears and failures have made for good lessons. Freshman year has been one big adventure, and while I still have a little less than a day left, I'm happy with how it finished. I've been broken a lot, but I've also been fixed up by people who really care. I've been thrown a few punches, but I'm still standing strong.

And I'm ready for a summer full of adventures, getting ready to get back into the swing of things for the fall.

I don't know where your schedules stand, but I hope wherever you are, you're in a good place. And if you aren't, just remember that this, too, shall pass. And when you feel lost, there is always Someone to guide you. I love you all, and I hope you have an excellent, brilliant evening, my chevron strawberries.

Vanilla Notebooks

My blog's going up ONA tuesDAY!

Welcome back to today's blog! I hope you are having an excellent afternoon. I had an early morning final at 8 today, and man, was it gorgeous outside. It was hard to go inside and to focus on a test, because the sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and I was searching for the cats on campus (we have lots of tabbies that just roam...) Anywho, it was beautiful. Though I never found any cats.

Anyway. Today, I've been reading through some Bible verses, and, out of all the wonderful ones I found (I'm currently working on a project, so there have been a lot) I found this one, that was extremely encouraging this morning:

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the Children of God. The Spirit you receive does not make you slaves, so that you live in FEAR again, rather the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship." -Romans 8:14-15

God gives us complete freedom through His Spirit, and we have a forever Father in him. We have nothing to fear, and we are never alone, because His Spirit is in us. We have this awesome, powerful God who loves us more than we have to worry. He loves us more than all of our suffering, and He will always be there.

Don't ever feel alone, you guys. He is awesome and powerful, and in control. We just have to give Him everything.

I hope you all have a lovely day, and that you aren't too worried or too stressed. You are so loved, my Vanilla Notebooks. Don't ever forget that.

Squiggly Fire

Welcome to Monday, my fine friends. I hope it's a fine Monday for you, and that your perusing of the internet has brought you here with a smile on your face. No smile? Okay.

CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE. Say it out loud...Eupp....ehehhuppp....there it is! I'm so proud. Now you've smiled for the day. Bueno.

Today has been a beautiful day on campus, as I have walked from the library, to the coffee shop, to another study building, to the cafeteria, and now back to studying (or blogging I suppose). I have to say, studying is becoming increasingly difficult to focus on, especially when it is so nice outside.

But studying it will be for the next three days...until move-out.

I'm chilling with my two friends, Jill and Christi (who named today's post by the way...pyromaniac), right now, and that two pound bag of twizzlers is seriously haunting me. These crazies can make me laugh even when my brain is throbbing from over-studying, and I'm really going to miss them this summer.

Today, all I can say to myself is 1 Peter 5:7....or, if you don't have a Bible handy, I'll just tell you: "Cast all your anxiety on Him because who cares for you". This is my absolute favorite Bible verse, and some days I want it tattooed on my forehead. Okay, maybe not the forehead. Maybe more like the wrist or something.

But anyway, this verse is a lifesaver. Because, even when anxiety is raging like a sea in a storm, I can give it all to Him. I can hand Him absolutely everything, and let Him take the reins. I don't have to worry about what plagues me here, because He loves me more than I worry about anything.

He loves me more than deadlines matter, He loves me more than my finals matter. That doesn't mean they don't matter; it just mean that His love and His power is so, so much greater. So I don't have to worry about the outcome.

As long as I am working for the Lord, the day-to-day struggles are infinitesimally small. Because He is so big. And for that, I am blessed.

So, if you are struggling today, my Squiggly Fires, just remember He cares for you, and He wants to take your anxiety. Let him take over; He's got this. And so do you.

Bodacious Twizzlers

Hey there, bloggers. Hope you are having a fabulous Sunday today. If not, let's make it fabulous. because you look AMAZING today. Not kidding.

I'm sitting here with a two-pound bag of twizzlers (hence the blog title) trying NOT to look at them and trying NOT to eat them and trying NOT to think about them (finals, guys) and trying to study for my finals. Ew.

This weekend has felt like a hundred years, but in the best way possible. I feel like I breathe in, and each breath is a different life, a different moment in time.

I don't know if that made any sense, but it's sort of like this: each person I'm with, each place I've been, each call I make, each word I write, is a different life that makes up me, or maybe doesn't make up me. It's different piece that makes me whole, but each piece is so different, that it feels like a hundred lives. And each piece is important to me.

Breathe in
Driving down a back road I've never been on, watching the car's shadow race us against the hill.

Breathe out
Curling up on a picnic table while the sun sets, ignoring everyone else around us.

Breathe in
Riding in an open jeep, wind whipping my hair as sun floods in and turns everything orange.

Breathe out
Driving to Target from church at 7:30 at night with someone who would become my closest friend.

Breathe in
Road-tripping to Nashville and doing yoga in a Parthenon

Breathe out
Driving to Sonic at 11 at night because finals (sorry, it's just an excuse)

Breathe in

And here I am. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's just something I thought last night (as I breathed in on a back road). I suppose it's because I just get so overwhelmed with how much there is in the world, how beautiful and how big it is. Not everything is beautiful, and not everything is pretty, but it all fits together, and it gives it something. No matter how dark it gets, we still live in a big, wonderful world that was made to be this beautiful puzzle.

I have to remind myself how thankful I am for my puzzle, as confusing as it gets. But Alyssa hit the nail on the head when she called me a puzzle, and for that, I am grateful. It gives me perspective when I feel lost, and so I am grateful for her, too. And so, so many other people.

I am grateful for you, my bodacious twizzlers. Have a great day.

Indubitable Spaghetti {Saturday Song List Edition}

Welcome to the Wonderful Saturday Song List Update!

Today is a day for studying, and reading, and doing physics problems, and chemistry problems, and eating food....and listening to these awesome tunes! So, here they are...I'll let you jam to them as you do...whatever it is this lovely Saturday holds.

1. Blue Morning, Blue Day-Foreigner

This song...is my childhood. It reminds me of road trips, summer days on the deck eating those little Popsicles that come in the clear plastic, and going swimming. I mean, I know it doesn't mean any of that to you but it does mean a lot to me. It also is a very empowering song...it makes me feel like I can conquer the world when I listen to it...even though I don't think that's what the lyrics intended. I don't know. If you haven't heard it...go now.

2. All About Us- He is We

This song is so chill, and happy, and fun. And it puts you in a good mood. Also, I have to point out that the girl's voice who is singing is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, and she owns the song. It's great. It's sort of slow, and kind of romantic, but it's a great song, and you should definitely go give it a listen.

3. My Father's Father- the Civil Wars

Okay, so this song is EXTREME chill. I'm talking mega-acoustic, but in the absolute best way possible. You are going to feel like you are at a train station, in like the 1800s, in the middle of a teeny, tiny town in the middle of the woods. It's absolutely gorgeous, and actually, I suggest you listen to this one first. I sort of love this song, and the Civil Wars in general. Fantastic. Great study music also, if you are into that sort of thing. So go...go now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, sorry for the excitement. I was going to put Stressed Out on this Saturday Song list edition, but I figured you have listened to it 20 million times since I posted about it earlier in the week, if you liked it. If not...go listen. Stressed Out, Twenty One Pilots. Watch the video, too. And all their other ones. And buy all their music. And pre-order blurry face.

Shhhh, I'm just kidding, you don't have to. But you won't regret it.

Anywho, I hope you have a lovely Saturday, my indubitable spaghettis, and that you are extremely productive today as you listen to some tunes. Have a great one.

Chartreuse Highlighters

Hello bloggers. Hope you are having a lovely day on this lovely Friday.

I took my first final today, which was exciting. I'm hoping it went will, because I gave it all I've got. But that was after the morning spent in our cafeteria with my friend Jill as we jammed to music and studied our brains out.

Today has been rough in a lot of ways, and it's easy to get down sometimes. But even when I am having the most horrible, off, awful day...I have to repeat a couple things to myself.

First, God knows what He is doing. All of this...as messy as it looks...is not impossible. And it's not something made to defeat us; everything we do, all of it, is for a purpose. And God makes everything work towards our good. In the end, it isn't about what test we passed, or what degree we get, or even if we find a job. Instead, it is about how far we've come...for Him. It's how much love we've showed, how much mercy we have received, and how many praises we shout to the sky (which, can never be enough, even in an infinite loop). Because He is so great, and that's all we have to focus on. So focus on that.

Second, it's going to be okay. If I tell myself it's going to be okay, I can take a breath and know...it WILL be okay. Eventually. One day. And even now...if you focus on the good, it is okay. Because you are still breathing, and you are still moving forward. And every step forward is important, even if it seems to be going backwards. But every single day is a step in the right direction: forward. Wherever that may be for you. Because, eventually, it's going to work. We just have to ride through the storm.

I know today is another short post, but I hope it has something of value in it for you. If nothing else, I hope you get from tonight that you CAN keep going, and if anyone believes in you, it is me.

And more important than me, far more important, you should know that God loves you...no matter what you are going through. And He will work everything towards good, so just remember that.

I love you, my chartreuse highlighters, and I hope you can keep your chin up. It's going to be alright.