Braided Apple Pies

Hey bloggers! Hope your day is going well!

It's been a good day here, but now I'm cracking down and studying. Today, I got the chance to eno in the courtyard of my campus, and it was absolutely beautiful outside. Even though my eno is NEON yellow, it was very relaxing and I honestly almost fell asleep trying to study.

But later today, my friend and I picnicked under the columns to nowhere. Or I guess, the Columns to Nowhere. It's these giant columns that reach way up into the sky in front of the Archaeology building, and disappear (they don't hold anything up). I mean I suppose they could be holding up some invisible walls, and an invisible Parthenon or something. Which would be super cool and I would be super impressed with our archaeology department. Maybe they worked with the physics department and architecture?

Anywho, they are sort of like giant pieces of art, just in front of this tiny archaeology building, and I love them. They look old and rugged, and whenever I pass, I sort of feel adventurous, like I'm in Indiana Jones or something (I really like those movies, by the way. In fact,  I may watch a marathon after finals...again).

I like the artsy, aesthetic side of our campus. I like the fountains, the back alleys where plants cover everything, the chapel made of burned bricks with the bell tower that tolls every hour, the rose-lined pathways under the trees...it's beautiful, and they are always good places to think.

And I really like our library. I love standing on the top floor, staring out at the whole of our campus, taking everything in.

I've decided I'm really going to miss our campus the next few months, and while I'm ready for a break...I'm really going to miss being here. The freedom, the people, heck, even some of the classes. But I know I'll be back in the fall and ready for another round of real adventures here (and a creative writing class with JILLLLL).

Until then, I'm going to try and rest, to work lots of hours, and to enjoy the summer. So I hope you are all ready for a great summer, my braided apple pies, because I sure am. Have a great evening.

Paper Marshmallows

Welcome to Wednesday, my Wonderful Web Wfriends!

Okay, I apologize. That really was a stretch.

Today was my OFFICIAL last day of class, which means I've completed all of my classes for my freshman year of college. That is INSANE. After finals, I'll be completely done, which blows my mind.

To celebrate our victory, some friends and I went to the local coffee shop and enjoyed our favorite half-priced drug...no...wait...I meant caffeine. Is there a difference? I don't think so. Whatever it is, it's fabulous, and I had some great coffee.

It's been a busy week, though, and it only gets busier from here. Tomorrow is a study day, which means locked away in my room with my cinnamon toast crunch to keep me company and my books to keep me occupied. Maybe, just maybe, I'll break out of the dorm and do something to take my mind off the studies, but either way, I can make it through.

I was sad to say that today is my last day with my calculus professor. He is the super-insanely awesome one that gets so excited about the problems, and like, I'm really going to miss him. He's always going on some long explanation about how computers are going to suddenly become robots that take over the world, and he makes many reference to these things we call "memes" on this here internet place, but he's great.

A few of my favorite quotes?

"And you don't have to go through all this rigamaroo, if you are a ninja. In which case, by all means, move along."

"And once you finish that, you can grab yourself a coke and a hot pocket and call it a day!" (I had completely forgotten about those things you call hot pockets by the way).

"Just try to ignore the blasphemy of infinite polynomials."

and finally, my favorite:

"You mean you can solve practical problems with theory???? ORLLY??!"

The class was always interesting, and my favorite part was watching someone who was doing exactly what they loved, every day. It's inspiring, and it's what I hope all these finals and tests help me accomplish: a life dedicated to doing what I love.

I hope you have an excellent afternoon, my paper marshmallows, and that you take a moment just to do something you love. Like read. Or write. Or paint. Or do calculus. Or run. Or climb a wall. Or drink water. That's always good.

See you later, my friends.

Fuzzy Quarters

Hey bloggers, happy Tuesday! I hope your day has been awesome and that--

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BLOG POST INTERVENTION. BLOG POST INTERVENTION.

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TWENTY ONE PILOTS DROPPED A NEW SONG AND VIDEO LAST NIGHT @ 11 PM

STRESSED OUT

CHECK IT OUT ON YOUTUBE RIGHT NOW. LIKE GO. NOW.

I MEAN YOU CAN FINISH READING THIS BUT THEN GO.

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BLOG INTERVENTION OVER

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--you are having a pretty good week. My day has been pretty great, I've had this awesome song stuck in my head like, all day. It's called Stressed Out by my favorite band ever: twenty one pilots. Yeah. You should check it out.

But really, though. It's a great song, sorta kinda about growing up and finding your place in the world. Which is kind of exactly what I'm going through as I finish my first year of college. The song is perfectly aligned with what my mind has been stuck on, thinking about how things were when you were younger versus how they are now. And man, is there a difference.

There's a lot more responsibility now, and a lot more to be afraid of. These kind of fears can't be washed away by mom checking the closet, or turning on the lights. These kind of fears come in the middle of the night, but instead of being outside of my head, all the fears come from my thoughts.

It's the what-if crisis, because there are so many things to what-if these days. What If my finals are way harder than I expect? What If I don't find a career that I want? What If I can't find a job this summer? What If I screw up? What If I forget to post one day (hopefully not but like, no promises this week)? What If something goes horribly wrong and all my plans don't work out?

Kind of Stresses you Out. 

But it shouldn't. I mean yes, it's scary. And yes, I get afraid. But then I remember who is there making sure everything works for my good. The Someone by whom I was fearfully and wonderfully made. The Someone who has got it all worked out all ready. So I know it's going to be okay, because my Awesome God made it to be okay. And it's not going to be okay in the sense that I expect, but in the way He wants it to. Which is even better.

So I hope you don't stay too Stressed Out today, my homies, and that you are making it and it's okay. Have a great evening, my Fuzzy Quarters, and keep rolling forward.

Paranoid Tacos

Hello my friends. How are you today? I hope you are swell.

It's been a lovely, chem lab-free Monday, though a little chilly. I can say I'm definitely ready for warm weather to come and stay, but it's been off and on for the last few weeks. I want the sun to come out, shine, and staying shining for a little while (I mean, until night. Because I kind of like sleep. And the moon.)

Anyway, it's officially the dreaded, haunted week where ...

FINALS START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first one is Friday, and while I do need to study for it, I'm not overly worried. Whatever happens will happen; all I can do is put everything I can into. I'm also work on a ten page paper that's due next week (page 7 whoop whoop!)

Tonight has been the ultimate procrastination night, though. We logged onto speed-typing test on google, and practiced how quickly we could type, or rather, how many words per minute. First, we were being normal people, and I think I averaged around 87 words per minute. Secretary status, my friends. On point.

Slowly, however, we digressed.

We lapsed into to typing with one hand, (35 words per minute), and now we are at the "how many words can you type with your nose". I got six, but my friend Jill has received the gold medal for nose typing: 13 words per minute. Go gold, or go home. Well...I suppose I'm going home.

But yes, the adventures of Finals Week have finally begun. Popsicles and typing tests, translated to: brain dead. But it's fun, and we're having fun, and it's going to be an okay two weeks. We're going to make it through.

So I hope your Monday evening is going great, and that the sun shines for you tomorrow. Also, get lots of sleep tonight, okay? Have a great one, my paranoid tacos.

Spiky Pencil Sharpeners

Hey Sunday bloggers, hope your Sun-daying is going swell! It's been a swell Sunday here, and I'm all ready for the upcoming week. Actually, I've been so productive this weekend that I actually am ready for tomorrow's Monday morning Chemistry test.

This morning, I went to an extremely early church service (which was awesome), went to get some coffee with some friends, wrote a bit on my essay, and spent the rest of the afternoon studying chemistry (whoop whoop)...Anyway. This evening, I also attended my roommate's show choir presentation, and I can HONESTLY say she was the BEST singer at the show! She did absolutely awesome, and I couldn't be more excited for her!

Now, I'm doing some last minute review for chemistry, with all those nuclear reactions. Also, I'm listening to Taylor, one of my good friends at school, watch Snap-chat stories about surgeries (eek. Yuck. Gross. Can't deal. Who would put that on Snap-chat? Sorry, I don't do blood). #wecantbefriendsanymore. Actually though, we can be friends, because she wants to be a doctor, and props to her. But I absolutely positively cannot.

Gross.

Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about motivation today, and I've been thinking about how important people are in motivation. Yes, self-motivation is sort of important, and should be the driving force in what you do; but when there are people there to cheer you on along the way, it doesn't hurt. In fact, it does quite the opposite. When you have moral support group, to let you know that there are people who care about what you achieve and are willing to believe in you every step of the way, it makes all the difference.

And I have that group, and it makes moving forward so much more manageable, and so much more enjoyable. I am so beyond thankful for the people in my life, and everything that they do. Especially the ones that remind me to write this blog every night.

So, my spiky pencil sharpeners, I hope you find some motivation this Sunday, and I hope you know that I believe in you every step of the way. You've got this, my friends.

Frozen Sneakers {Saturday Song List Edition}

Welcome back for another episode of the Saturday Song List special!

Today's music is going to be a little chill, which is okay if you're in a studying mood. Which is what I'm currently doing. Today I have successfully completed 2 out of 23492349 tasks on my list, so I'm feeling pretty good. And, I made it to the gym! Success.

Anywho, here are my three songs for the day, and hey, would you look at the first one:

1. Puzzles and Pieces-Deas Vail

Okay, folks, so you may or may not have heard about Deas Vail. If you haven't, I have to say you are seriously missing out. So like, go...go listen now. Also, how convenient that they have a song called Puzzles and Pieces...hmmm...but this song really is excellent, and the message behind it is sort of beautiful, too. It's good study or quiet time music, if you need something.

2. Oh Ms. Believer-Twenty One Pilots

Oooh, got 'em! Twenty One Pilots again because Twenty One Pilots is life. But really though. love times a million. This song is very much a winter song, but I've been feeling it all week and it's so pretty I had to share. It's kind of sad (you've been warned) but it also makes me smile. As do most of their songs. But yes, just go give it a listen if you haven't already, and then *cough cough download every song ever cough cough* What?

3. Vanilla Twilight-Owl City

Okay, so next weeks songs may be a bit more upbeat, but for now it's looking like a REALLY chill list. But Vanilla Twilight is one of my favorite classic Owl City songs, and it's really sweet and soft and fun to play on the piano if you play piano. And the imagery in the song is pretty fantastic, too. So I would say give it a listen (obviously, since I'm promoting it on my blog).

So yep, there are my three songs. I hope they are a good listen for you, and if you've heard them before and like them, I hope this is sort of an affirmation for you about how awesome they are, because someone else likes them, too.

This week, and the following week, are both going to be fairly busy for me, as they are my finals weeks. That being said, I will probably have very little free time to write extremely long posts, but I am still going to try to post everyday. So I apologize in advance for any short or unimportant ramblings, but I do hope you all have an excellent few weeks.

Jam out, my frozen sneakers, and happy Saturday!  

Soggy Rain Boots

Alright bloggers, I will be enlisting your help as well.

I am on a mission. Over the summer, I had this sudden memory of a lush, cartoon field of dark green steps and leaves and bright, yellow...daffodils. Cartoon daffodils, from a T.V. show, or movie, or something. A whole field of them.

And I, cannot for the LIFE of me, remember where these darn daffodils are from! But it has been driving me bonkers since May, and here were are, almost at May again. I need to find these things, somewhere.

So, please, if you start having nostalgic flashbacks about T.V. cartoons, try and keep these lovely plants in mind. But forreal, it's driving me insane. I'm thinking maybe DragonTales, or something along those lines. Who knows. Maybe no one. But keep it in mind.

Anywho, I hope you are having a lovely day, and that you are ready for the weekend, because it's finally here! I'm so ready for the weekend, even though I don't think I will be leaving my room again. I'd say I've got quite a bit of homework.

But it's okay, because it will get done...or at least most of it will. And I will make it through Monday, and so will you. It's going to be okay, my friends. We will make it.

I know today's post is short, but that's only because of this to-do list staring back at me. When summer hits, I may have the motivation to write you lovely people pages and pages of good vibes, but for tonight, I think this will have to suffice.

But I love you all greatly, and hope you have a fantastic weekend, my soggy rain boots.

Sunburned Beanies

Hey guys. I hope your Thursday is going well, and that life isn't being too hard on you.

God works in mysterious ways, my friends.
It's mind-blowing.

I've been going through a very rough patch this semester, and I feel like pieces of my life started slipping into other pieces, and it caused some paths to become pretty rocky. And some of those paths have become almost completely impossible to navigate through.

But God has a way of setting everything right again, or at least setting everything in a way that makes moving forward possible.

I have been tripping and falling all semester; I'll be honest. It's been a rough one, and I am seeing that now as it comes to a close more than ever. But as stones have fallen away, and trees have fallen along the path, God has put in place much stronger bridges.

And He has provided some people that show me how big He is, bridges that don't fall when it starts raining and the waters start rising, and paths that are a lot more straightforward than the crooked ones I was walking before.

But today my motivation was renewed. In my 11 AM this morning, my professor gave us this pep talk. And even though he was talking about classes and grades and papers, it sort of meant something else to me. He was trying to tell us not to stress about our final paper, that he had watched us progress over the semester and he believed we all had the capability, motivation, and knowledge to succeed in this last important assignment.

But as he was speaking, I felt a bit better about everything. I may not know exactly what is happening all the time in my life, and there will surely be downfalls, but I've come so far. I mean, I've made it 19 years...that has to count for something. And I've met so many people, and I've accomplished so many things, even if it's just waking up every morning (and sometimes, that can feel like an accomplishment).

It's okay to be stressed. But God is going to make a way, despite whatever you think. It doesn't come at the time you think it will, it may not come til much later than you expect...but God's timing is perfect. And that in itself is reassuring.

So if your path looks rocky, take a breath and keep walking. Because if you trust Him, He's gonna put a bridge in place. Or lead you to sturdier ground. Or at least be there to hold your hand while it feels like everything is falling.

I hope you see some sort of light at the edge of the forest today, and that you can look up, even for just a moment. I believe in you, so keep moving forward. Always, you sunburned beanies. I love you guys.

Colorful Maple Leaves

Hey my homies. It's been quite a week, hasn't it?

It's finally Wednesday, which means the week is half-over. Just two and half-ish days until the weekend.

Today is a shout-out post. What is a shout-out post? Or, who am I shouting out to? Well, I guess there are several shout-outs.

The first goes to anyone and everyone who has ever come into my life, given me encouragement that I promise is not under-appreciated. Any "You've got this" or "You can do it" is priceless, and anyone who has stuck by my side through troubled times is appreciated. I don't say it enough, but I don't think I would ever find my way without some of these people, and I'm still searching. So thank you, beyond whatever you may think you know, I am that much more grateful.

The second goes out to my parents. I don't know if they read my blog, (if they do, hey, what's up, guys!) but they really are sort of the greatest people on the planet. Mainly because they put up with me for 19+ years, but also because they're always there. I know that no matter how low I get, the phone is never far and they always answer, even if I don't. And they've probably played the biggest role in making me who I am, and as confusing and stressful as life is, I know I can keep moving forward.

The last shout-out may be the most important. You guessed it; this one is going to God. Because as lost and down as I feel, especially when I'm struggling or people are struggling around me, He finds a way to show Himself and everything He's given me. We aren't promised an easy life, that's for sure. And we can't ever know how to make everything work out how it's supposed to, or even how we want it to. It just doesn't happen like that. Instead, God makes everything that happens in our life, good or not so good, work together to be good. I can't look back and wonder what would happen if I changed this or that because, A) I can't, and B) what might I have missed had I changed anything?

I wouldn't change much. I want to say I wouldn't change anything; because every good or bad thing that has happened has put me where I am right now, and I there are things I have right now I wouldn't change for anything. The most excellent of friends, the most excellent of parents, the most excellent, never-ending list of things to do.

And I'm ready to see where I'm going, so I can't change anything. I have to focus on moving ahead. I know I talk about that almost every day, it seems, but it's a daily reminder I need. But there are people who remind me every day, and God proves His glory every day.

So today is a shout out post, and a big ole' Thank You post. I love you all dearly, and I hope you can make it through to tomorrow, because you never know what's waiting. So have a great day, my colorful maple leaves.

Scribbled Butterflies

Hey there! It's a wonderful Tuesday, or at least I hope it's wonderful for you. If not, I've got something that can make it a little bit better.

It's this great story that goes a little bit like this:

Once upon a time, there was this farm in the middle of nowhere. I mean, we are talking acres upon acres of plush, rolling, green grass, waving in the wind, against this crystal blue, clear sky. And the barn that sat atop the hill always looked brand new, kept spiffy and painted nicely by the farmer that lived there.

Now this farmer took pride in all of his animals. In fact, he had two star horses that, in his mind, were two of the fastest horses on the planet. I mean, they could outrun anything! Except, maybe...each other. There was black horse named Razzle, and his twin brother, a brown horse named Dazzle.

Anyway, these two horses were on the hilltop one day, just grazing. Dazzle, looking out in the distance, spotted a dandelion, bright yellow, growing up from the ground, dew still dotting its little petals. Dazzle looked at Razzle and said,

"Razzle, we are two of the fastest horses in the world. Let's race to that dandelion and see who is faster." Razzle liked the idea, and they lined up, getting ready to take off...3....2...1...

AND THEY'RE OFF!

First Razzle takes the lead, giving it all he's got, and then Dazzle overtakes him, running faster...Then it's Razzle, and Dazzle, and then Razzle, and then Dazzle, and Razzle and Dazzle and Razzle and Dazzle and Razzle and Dazzle until...phew, Razzle makes it to the dandelion first.

Dazzle kicks at the dirt, frustrated, but admits that Razzle won. Suddenly, he gets an idea, and says, "Hey Razzle...let's have a rematch." Dazzle surely could beat him now, now that they had both run a ways and were fairly tired.

So they lined up again, and BOOM! They were off!

It was neck and neck for a long time at the beginning, but suddenly Dazzle started pulling ahead. He lost his speed however, and Razzle overtook him, but it became a back and forth thing again, and it was Razzle and Dazzle, then Razzle, then Dazzle, and Razzle Dazzle Razzle, Dazzle, Razzle Dazzle, and...

Razzle takes the prize again! Dazzle was a little upset, but, he had to give props to Razzle. He was obviously  the better race horse, I mean no question. So they go back to the barn, get some water, and settle down for the night.

Now, years later, these horses were out on the hilltop again. Razzle was chewing away at the grass, when he looked up and saw far off in the distance, that same dandelion, just as fresh as it was years and years ago, with dew still on the top of it. He swung his head to Dazzle, and said, "Should we race again, for old times' sake?" Dazzle smiled, and said,

"Of course."

So they lined up, and WOWZERS! They're off! It is back and forth the whole time...first it was Razzle, then it was Dazzle, then Razzle, then Dazzle, and Razzle Dazzle Razzle, Dazzle, Razzle Dazzle, and...

Razzle took the prize again! Dazzle, laughing, said, "I always knew you were the better race horse, my friend." Razzle shook his head, and they slowly made their way back to the barn, exhausted.

As they were going through the doors, they saw the farmer's dog laying down in the head, napping. As they came clomping through the entrance, he lazily lifted his head and smiled. "Are you two out there racing again? Who won?"

And Dazzle looked at Razzle, and Razzle looked at Dazzle, and in a very confused voice, Razzle said to Dazzle,

"Did that dog just talk?"

HAHAHA ha ha...ha..ha....No, that was not a waste of your time. It was an important joke that I find extremely hilarious, so go ahead...Laugh.

I know, it's a long one, and it seems like it has no significance. But I mean, it sort of does. Because it was told to me by a good friend, and the joke lifts my spirits.

Sometimes it can seem like we are still listening for no reason. We get to the end of the day, and we think back, and say, "What was the point?". But for me, the story made me smile, at least when I first heard it. And it's one of those joke's where you have to sit back and say, okay. That was kind of funny.

So at the end of the day, when I'm feeling exhausted and stressed, and wondering why I keep going, it's kind of like the ole' Razzle Dazzle. I have to think about the day like a gift given to me by a Good Friend, an attempt to make me see the good things, to make me smile, and laugh. Because that's what each day is...no, not a joke. But a story. A story wrapped up and delivered every morning, waiting to be told, or read, or whatever cheesy metaphor you want to attach to it. Because when you start and end the day with a smile, or at least a little appreciation for the good things, it makes life just a little bit easier.

I hope you can end your day with a smile, today, and that it is a good day, indeed, my Scribbled Butterflies.

Lavender Coffee Mugs

Afternoon, lovelies. It's shockingly chilly outside today, which is strange after the weather we've been having. But I suppose it's a nice break before it starts getting blisteringly hot again (which will be okay with me).

Weather chit-chat aside (just getting through the icebreaker), it's been a relatively good day. I received an onslaught of homework, projects, tests, quizzes, and what not this morning, so the rest of this week will be a bit quite a bit of working through the pile. Except Wednesday, which is the poetry reading (eep!) and then a Russian Ballet (YAAAAAAAAAS).

Today marks my very last chemistry lab, ever. I mean, I will be taking organic eventually, but if I am correct, it has an online lab paired with it instead of an actual lab, which is sort of great. So you could say I'm excited.

Okay, I will say it. I'M SO EXCITED. I mean chemistry lab is fun and all, but it's also a fairly large stress factor on Monday afternoons. Maybe instead of balancing chemical reactions, my workload can...balance out...ha ha...Come on, I'm trying here.

Anyway, as in accordance with the rest of my posts, it's about time to start talking about the important things: life. Ah, yes, all of my metaphors are eagerly waiting under the keyboard, trying to make their way into today's post. I will try to keep them at bay.

I was reminded last night, amidst working, that life isn't easy. I mean, I know that, but I realized last nigh that: life isn't easy for anyone. It's not just me that has trouble getting through my work. I'm not the only one who gets a little (a lotta) stressed out sometimes. I'm not climbing my way over ridiculous mountains alone; so is everyone else.

And it's easy to forget that part. It's easy for me to get trapped in this cycle of me, me, me. I have so much to do, I have no time, I didn't sleep, I'm not going to sleep, I'm going through this and that and this and that and this and that and it never ends. But there is always someone there who understands.

The sermon at my church yesterday was very much focused on reaching out to those people around, pouring into their lives as much as you possibly can, helping others when no one else will even stop to listen. That's what my goal is for the rest of this week and this semester. I'm not going this alone, so why not take the time to show someone else they aren't going it alone? That a helping hand is nearby?

So this week, I hope you see that there is help all around....and there are people who need help all around. Life sort of is a balancing act. You get help, and you give it. So there's your chemistry metaphor for the day, my lavender coffee mugs, and I hope a fantastic day it is. Hold your head high on this special Monday. I believe in you.

Paper Bow Ties

YO WHAT UP?! Welcome back for the Sunday Funday update.

Hope you are having an excellent Sunday afternoon, because I know I am. The weather isn't too hot, or too cold, and the clouds are roaming across the sky, but it isn't dark and gloomy. Everything is green, the breeze is blowing, and right now, I think I could easily say that I could spend forever in a moment like this.

Today, I was able to play in the worship band at church again, and I can't get over how much I love praisin' and singin' with the rest of the band. We always have fun, and we always mess around, but I always go into with all of our hearts and minds. And I love it.

It's been a good weekend, and today I drive back to school for the last time. Three more weeks and it will all be over (even though after the amount of homework I've done this weekend, it feels like it should be over). But I've been doing a lot of thinking this weekend, while I've had time to relax, and I've turned over a couple rocks in this old brain of mine.

I know I don't really know that much about life, and I know I've got a lot to learn. But I realized, at least for now (I may look back on this in a few years and laugh as you might be doing right now), but I realized you can't stop living to remember what was. You can't stop living to wonder how someone else is living, and forgot about how far you need to go.

This morning, while we were playing, it was always the next chord, the next note. Don't worry about what key you hit before, what chord you strummed away at...keep going. It doesn't matter how much coffee you spilled; it's a matter of cleaning it up and moving on. It doesn't matter who you were before, it's about who you are going to be now.

As the semester draws to a close and summer creeps around the corner, I'm ready to embrace whoever it is I'm on my way to be. And I'm ready for new adventures, new faces, new experiences, new music, and new days. New mornings to wake up to the smell of coffee, work to do, things to paint, places to go, books to read, letters to write, and people to explore the universe with...oh, and blog posts to create.

And you keep moving forward, because you don't know what you will find in the next step. It's like Walt Disney said, "Keep moving forward". It's one to live by, and one to remember when you don't want to move forward.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, my paper bow ties, and keep going. I believe in you.

Cozy Eyelashes {Saturday Song List Edition}

SATURDAY NIGHT AND WE IN THE SPOT
DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH

Welcome back, my homies, to the live edition of SATURDAY SONG LIST! Woop woop! The songs this week are probably going to be pretty random, and honestly, I haven't really chosen them yet. So when you read this, just know, I am also seeing this list compiled for the first time as well. But anyway, I suppose these are them:

1). Say (All I Need)- OneRepublic

This song, no matter what current situation I am in, has the power to bring tears to my eyes. I don't know exactly what it is about it, but it's very beautiful; and yes, I may be partial to OneRepublic because they are pretty great. But if you don't want to cry or reflect on your life or the history of the universe or the meaning of the universe...don't listen to it. But if you want a good, chill song...go for it.

2). Made For You-OneRepublic

Alright, two songs by the same artist, I apologize. But this song gives me serious nostalgia. I love this song for many, many reasons, but particularly because of the piano solo towards the end, and then when it fades into the next song on the album. Overall, I just love OneRepublic, but this song really is at the top of my list for favorite songs, or at least near the top. Go listen to it. And like, the rest of the album. Go, go now. Run. Okay.

3). Shut Up and Dance-Walk the Moon

At first I couldn't remember if I had posted about this song, but I don't think I have and I need to, because it's such a feel good song. It makes me want to...well, um. You know. Shut up and...dance. Yeah. But anyway, it's very bumpin', and it's very much about living in the present. I like it, so, if you haven't heard it, I would say to mosey your way over to the nearest media-playing device.


Okay, so there are my three (spontaneous) songs, and I hope the words in each little description made sense because A) I was listening to the songs as I wrote about them, making it difficult to form sentences, and B) there was a person sitting next to me who just would not stop talking, making it extremely difficult to concentrate.

Ah, I'm just kidding. My best friend, Alyssa is over right now for a birthday celebration, and we are currently jamming out to nostalgic tunes, and it's sort of wonderful. And I love her to death, so the jab at her talking is a total joke. But anyway, I shall bid you farewell, my cozy eyelashes, and I hope you have a fantastic time whatever you are doing.

Graceful Pineapples

Can you believe it?
I can't..
This is my THIRTIETH BLOG POST. Which means I've made it for right about a month! I don't know about you, but I'm impressed. I didn't believe in me, but I proved myself wrong. So, here's a toast to 30 posts (hey, look! I'm a poet and I had no idea! Wait...that's not right..it doesn't rhyme...).

Anywhooo, it is Friday evening, which is fantastic, and it is finally the weekend. Sure, I still have homework looming in the not-so-distant-distance, but I finally get a break. I can sleep in past 6, chill out in my PJ's, and have a parttyyyy.

I'm home for the weekend, and my sister finally got a car...meaning she will be driving me around all weekend, rather than the reverse. So it should be...interesting...if I don't start panicking while she tries to make a turn (just kidding!).

I hope your Friday has taken a burden off of you, and you get to use the weekend as a nice vacation from the work schedule.

Which, I have an important point to share tonight; that is, an important point to share whenever you read this. The thing is, is I've felt really discouraged all week; it's been a rough one. But I've powered through...through tests and quizzes, doctor's appointments and work-outs, through keeping up with daily routines (including this here ol' blog), and attending meetings. But I feel like it hasn't stopped since about 7:30 Sunday night.

But today, as I was (power)walking through the rain, with my lovely flowered umbrella, to make my way to Physics, I realized that as discouraged as I was...I still wanted to try. I still wanted to give the week my all, and I wanted to make it through til Friday. Heck, I want to make it until the end of the semester....because I've made it this far. So why quit now?

You don't. You don't quit. You keep going. And that's my goal for the next two weeks: keep going, keep my head up, and keep swimming.

So have a great Friday evening, my graceful pineapples.

Fluffy Icicles

Hello, my blogspot friends, and guess what? This is the VERY first productive thing I've done today. So feel impressed: you are reading the VERY first productive thing that this here lady has done today.

Okay, sure. I got up, went to the gym, ate breakfast, went to class, and spent the afternoon in the doctor's office...but let's be real for a minute. None of that was ACTUALLY on my to-do list. Those are like, dailies. (dailies=day lilies=springtime...sorry, I'm wishing for sunny days).

But, pushing all that aside, I hope your day has been much, much better than mine, and that you are smiling. If you aren't smiling...listen here, SMILE. Even if it's just at this dopey blog post. Smile. There...I think I see it...come on, now...YEP. That's it. People will think you're staring at a funny gif, or some sort of meme of your friend's face, and will think, "Wow, what a cool person. Look at that stunning smile." So smile quickly! Before they look away!

Now that you've checked your surroundings to see if anyone is watching you smile, I hope you pass the smile on. Even if you are in your room, all the lights off, no one around, you can find someone next time you get up and pass the baton. Because I'm smiling at you right now (write now) as I write, and let me just say, you readers make me smile even when I'm having such a totally unproductive day.

I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday, but at the same time, it feels like Friday should have come a few weeks ago. I am absolutely ready for the break, though. Some time to relax, do homework before the due date, and prepare myself for my second to last week of class (whoop whoop!).

Anywho, I'm definitely sorry for such a short post, but it's been one of those days. I guess what I mainly want to say to all of you is that, no matter what, you are spectacularly wonderful, and nothing in the world can change that. I'm serious. Even if a few people don't see your absolute amazingness, it's still there. You're still there. So keep being awesome, because if you aren't, then who will be?? We need someone awesome...we need you, young grasshopper.

So have a great evening, and have another smile. You deserve one, you fluffy little icicle.

Fluorescent Sunglasses

Hey guys, happy Wednesday! The week is ALMOST over, which is all at once exciting and a little bit frightening. There's always plenty to do, but this week has just felt extra busy.

I hope your Wednesday has been swell, and that you are just as excited about tomorrow as you are about the weekend! I, for one, am getting more and more nervous as next Wednesday approaches.

I am a part of the creative writing journal staff on my campus, and the newest issue of the journal comes out next week. And as SUPER DUPER pumped as I am about it arriving, all bound and beautiful, I'm quite nervous about its release...Because I sort of did something crazy.

You see, I have this terrible fear of public speaking. I know, I know...it's something I need to get over. But there's just something about standing up in front of any number of people that makes me turn red and get super nervous. I don't know if it's because everyone is staring at me, or maybe because I fear I won't be heard, but it just drives me crazy.

And, as you probably have guessed, I agreed to some public speaking. Or, public reading, that is...

WHHYYYY?!?!?!!! I cry in agony. What could possibly possess me to agree to something like this? I don't know; however, whether it's crazy or not, I agreed to it, and now I have to go through with it. But I can tell you right now it's going to be on my mind all week.

Standing in front of a crowd (given, it will be a fairly small "crowd"), reading something I wrote (even worse-ack!), feeling all eyes and ears turn towards me to listen...whew, this will be an interesting event. But, I'm going to try to be brave, if you could call it brave, and not let my mind get to me. Because that's really all this fear is. A mind game...a mind game that I just have to beat.

I know no one will be thinking about the words I said after I leave the podium, and no one will really remember what I spoke or how I spoke after the event is over, but in the moment, it's a little scary. So I'll be brainstorming ways all week to make it less scary, more do-able, and more enjoyable.

Okay, maybe not.

But I'm hoping to find some bravery this week, and I hope you find some, too. I hope you have an excellent evening, you fluorescent sunglasses, and see you tomorrow!

Refrigerated Doorknobs

What's up?! TUESDAY! That's what's up!

It's been a full, eventful Tuesday (actually, it has felt like a ten year Tuesday...) but it started off at 12 AM this morning, with my tone-deaf singing ringing through the halls of my dorm as I wished my friend Alyssa a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (If you are reading this Alyssa, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!).

But since then, a lot of things have been accomplished, one of which being making it through my classes without falling asleep. This evening, however, I witnessed something sort of beautiful.

At the Student Ministry center on campus tonight, there was a ceremony for those students who are going on mission trips this summer. And during this ceremony, I knew God was there.

My very, very good friend Jill is going far, far away this summer for a mission trip, so she took part in the ceremony tonight. I, of course, was running late because I pack as many events as I possibly can into the week, but when I came through the door, slung down my backpack, and took a seat, I felt a sort of peace come over me. And happiness.

Because on stage, Jill was waiting to speak her piece about her adventure this summer. And after her speech, she and the other missionaries all took their seats and had their feet washed. In this symbolic moment, as the band was playing, I couldn't help but smile, and I found myself walking to the stage to pray over her.

And it was beautiful. The fact that this many people, in our little (big) student ministry, are willing to give up their time and freedom for the purpose of sharing the love of Christ, is beautiful. And the love that the rest of us share for those people is beautiful. Because God is Good. 

And when I say I knew God was there tonight, it's because His words got through to me. In Acts 4:20, as Peter and John are explaining their purpose, they reply, "We cannot but speak the things we have seen and heard". The cannot. but. speak. How powerful is that?

I want to be able to say that I cannot help but SCREAM from the mountaintops how beautiful, amazing, and powerful God is, and share His love with the world. And it fills my heart that people like Jill are making that happen this summer. It is sort of beautiful.

God is Good, and His love is powerful. And tonight, I felt it just as powerful as ever. It brought peace to my stressful day, and peace to my stressful semester, because it's not for nothing. I'm not here to go through this stress, to be held down by it...I'm here for a bigger reason: to love and praise God and share His even bigger love with the rest of the world. And that is good.

So have a wonderful evening, you refrigerated doorknobs. (and happy birthday, Alyssa). 

Subatomic Ladybugs

It's been quite the Monday, my lovely internet friends. Quite the Monday.

How are you doing today? Is your week going swell already? Are you stressed to the max? Have you eaten today? Are you sick of questions? Okay, I'll stop.

I know it's late tonight, but as I said before, it's been quite the Monday. This morning, I ran an unofficial 5k in the gym, which was pretty exciting, and after my shower, I high-tailed it to a full day of classes. After not one, but two trips to the library looking for books about Mary Cassatt and after an extremely stressful chemistry lab, I am finally ready to settle into getting the dreaded homework done.

As much as there is to do and things to get done, I don't think I'm quite ready for the semester to be over with yet. As stressful as the schoolwork is, I'm actually really enjoying my classes. In chemistry this morning, we started covering nuclear chemistry, which is my favorite part of both chem and physics. I think it's all fascinating...particles with almost no mass, no surface area, no charge, can cause dramatic changes in the behavior and identity of things. And these teeny, tiny particles have ridiculously large amounts of energy paired with them...tremendously larger amounts of energy than anything else we have covered this far in class.

My friend who sits beside me in that class thinks I'm crazy, but how could you not be amazed that almost nothing can change almost everything? Almost nothing has the power to denature cells, completely changing the shape of these also minuscule objects.  Ah yes, a cheesy analogy to the wonders of life...I feel it coming...oh no...here it is...

Almost nothing can change almost everything. How encouraging is that? We are incredibly small...if you look at the history of life, as you probably have. We are one out of so, so many. We are tiny in a gorgeous universe that extends infinitely far. We are so small compared to what is out there that it's almost unfathomable.

But we make changes everyday. I'm not talking about scientific, universe-altering changes (though those may exist, too), but changes in the people around us. Changes in relationships. Changes in knowledge. Changes in attitudes. We are insignificantly small, but we can also reach across infinite distances to make differences.

I speak from experience. No, I don't really know other people's lives that I have changed...but I know people who have changed mine, who have helped place all these crazy pieces. Individuals, out of the hundreds of people we come into contact with, have the power to help mold us into who we are meant to be.

You may feel small sometimes. You may feel insignificant and tiny, because I know I do. But when you think about it, and you think of the difference you might have made in other people's lives, without even knowing it...it's incredible. Like those tiny, invisible, impossibly small particles, we can cause big changes, across big spaces. And that's encouraging.

So a big thank you to everyone who has made me who I am. My youth pastor in middle school. My teacher that showed me how to love what I was learning. The lady turned my day around at work once with a single word. The person who held the door open for me as rain was pouring down. The person who chased me down to return my phone when I was biking. The person that showed up exactly when I needed them, who became exactly what I needed in a hard time. The people who read my blog even when it rambles.

Thank you. And have an excellent evening, you subatomic ladybugs.

Sun-kissed Bookshelves

WHAT'S UP?! Hope you are having a good day, and that your Sunday has been an adventure..

I went on an adventure today...My friends and I decided Friday night that Saturday, we would drive down to our friend's house, spend the night, and just have a good time. A mini road trip, but a road trip all the same.

Our adventure was fun. We jammed out to some good music on the way down, had some AH-MAZING food (let me tell you...tater-tot casserole, apple dumplings, coffee, coffee, coffee..ah, I mean, ice-cream, cinnamon rolls...Don't worry, I'll be heading to the gym), had some laughs, and just in general had a really good time. And we saw some pretty cool train tracks, that ran right through the center of the town.

This morning, we went to a small, tiny church in a small, tiny town where the guest speaker had a Mississippi accent that coated every word he spoke-it was intense. But the sermon was important, and it's stuck with me all afternoon...mainly because it's something I've been writing about a lot. He spoke about living in the present tense, not in the past. Leaning on what is right now, and not what was.

It was interesting to hear it again from someone else, because even as he spoke, and even as I thought about everything I ever tell myself, I still learned. I still learned that each day, you have to work at making relationships meaningful, days meaningful, moments meaningful. And you have to make each day count, not a repeat of what was.

This weekend was definitely meaningful. I had so much fun just goofing off and laughing, and enjoying what we were doing in the present tense.

Anywho, I'm getting ready to face the upcoming week now, and I'm getting together some presents (shhh!) for a very good friend's birthday on Tuesday. Although I won't be able to see her ON her birthday (tears), I will be seeing her this next weekend, and we're going to party it up! Maybe. We may just watch a movie...which is a pretty good party, if you ask me.

I know today's post is short, but I hope with all of my heart that your days have been meaningful, and that you are ready to face the week. I wish you happiness through each day, and that the stress is manageable. Mostly, I hope that you can live each day in the present tense, and focus on moving forward...not looking back.

But, I hope you have a wonderful evening, you sun-kissed bookshelves.

Psychedelic Postage Stamps {Saturday Song List Edition}

HEYOOOO. It's Saturday and you know what that means! 

Mu-SIC, mu-SIC, mu-SIC! I can hear the crowds chanting now...Bring us music, or bring us...food. I'm going to go with music since electronically submitted food still does not exist...although I'm not sure why they haven't gotten on that yet. It sounds like a pretty big thing to me.

Anyway, here are the three songs for today. They're all pretty good if you ask me-I mean, why else would I be posting them, right?

1. A Little Opera Goes a Long Way-Sky Sailing

Ever heard of Owl City? Techno dance music? Fireflies? Well, Sky Sailing is the same brilliant guy who started Owl City, but it's a much, much, much more mellowed out style, very acoustic and very pretty. His name is Adam Young, if you want to find more of his music...and he goes under several names for each different style of music. Except rap. He doesn't do that-I don't think. Who knows. But anyway. A Little Opera Goes a Long Way is a great, feel-good kind of song. So go for it.

2. West Coast-Coconut Records

This is a bit of a sad song, even though it doesn't quite sound like it at first. Even though I haven't technically been to the West Coast, it makes me very much want to pack up my suitcase and road-trip all the way out to California, lay on the beach on a cloudy day and stare out at the waves rolling across the water. This is one of those songs that gives me a whole lot of nostalgia, but the good kind.

3. Holding On To You-Twenty One Pilots

Alright, I don't know what you have thought of Twenty One Pilots so far, if you've even worked up the nerve to listen to them yet...but this song is a pretty good display of their style. It's kind of all over the place, very upbeat, not exactly a steady style through the song...It changes a lot. And, most of their songs are pretty long (enough wiggle room to change a lot). But it's very, very good, regardless. All I have to say about this song is lean with it and rock with and stick it out to the end. Because my favorite part isn't actually until well over two minutes into the song. Oh, and there's a part I really like at the beginning about crossing t's and dotting i's. But anyway, I've said enough about Twenty One Pilots (but not really). Go listen to it. I mean, if you want.

Okay, so now that my plan of getting you to buy all of Twenty One Pilot's music-no...wait. I mean...my plan to introduce you to good, bumpin' and great, chill music is in place, I guess I will let you go to go find all theses tunes, and enjoy your wonderful Saturday afternoon.

I hope the sun is shining for you, and if it's not, I hope your day is shining, because you are shining, my psychedelic postage stamps. You are all brilliant, and I love you. Farewell for now.

Inquisitive Daffodils

Howdy guys! It's FRIDAY! Woop woop! I hope it's been an excellent week, and yep, now it's time to relax! Or you know, catch up on a ten-page paper. Same thing, right?

So, I usually don't read over my posts before I publish them. I try to focus only on getting everything I could possibly want to say onto the screen, and then clicking the little orange 'Publish' button before I have time to regret any of the words. And really, I don't go back and read them once they are posted. And I pretend not to think about the other people who actually do go read them, because that can be a little terrifying sometimes.

Now you may say, au contraire! blogger, How do you not encounter grammar mistakes if you don't spell check and proofread? But honestly, there's this wonderful friend of mine who usually reads the posts as soon as they go up (although I have no idea how she knows when they do go up...unless she is continually refreshing this page...hmmm...) and somehow manages to catch my mistakes and send them to me at an early hour. Which is fantastic, if you ask me. It's like my own personal editor.

But that's not just how I write these posts anymore...it's really what I've been focusing on in my life. I do not want to be looking back. It's almost like yesterday, when I talked about getting caught up in what needs to be done and what I messed up on...worrying about it isn't going to fix the problem.

Yes, it's okay to think about things...to actually focus on doing things. But focusing on the thing, and focusing on doing the thing are two totally different things. But you only changed one word! you shout, as I, the writer, put words in your mouth for the second time today. However, as you know from plenty of school teachers, preachers, and people much wiser than I, that one word in analogies like this make a huge difference.

Focusing on the thing gets me nowhere. I think about it to death, knowing I need to start it, do it, finish it...but that doesn't get it done. And then I'm left still thinking about having to get it done. But when I keep running forward, with the intention of finishing the race, things. get. done.

Paul talked a lot about running with the intention of finishing and about the good race. In 1 Corinthians 9:26, he specifically says he doesn't run "aimlessly". There is a purpose in his run, and so there should be a purpose in our lives.

But he isn't talking about running with intention to the end of finishing a paper...which is also a valid, successful way to get papers done-and other things-...but rather, he's talking about winning a crown that will last forever. And his race, that he talks about? It's the race running to be obedient, and to spread God's glory. The good race, the best race. The race to be run with that most important end goal in sight.

So, my goal, for myself, is to work with intention, and to run with purpose. And I hope today is a FANTASTIC Friday, for you too, you little inquisitive daffodils.

Notebook Paper Pillows

Hey there.

I thought about starting my post with something else, but I figured an introduction is the polite way to begin a conversation, and jumping right in to something can sometimes be considered rude. And if I was rude, would you come back?? No!? So I'll say hello.

I want a cappuccino.

That's pretty much what I wanted to start with. I want to sit down, at a cafe, stare dramatically out of a tall, glass window, wait for a waitress to set down a nice, ceramic coffee mug (not those disposable ones bearing the green star-queen of caffeine), that is filled all the way up, steam curling aesthetically into the air.

That's what I'm feeling right about now. So if anyone wants to go get some coffee, I'm totally down for it. Just let me know. We can ponder the mysteries of life as we sip our drinks.

I register for my classes today, so I'm a bit anxious...I have to stop myself from literally watching the seats available disappear on the online schedule, as upperclassmen register before me. It's nerve-wracking, especially with my registration so late in the day. And I only have one class on Thursdays, so there's not much to distract me from ambling over to my computer, clicking on the school website, and just waiting.

But instead I'm going to try and be productive. I went to the gym this morning, later I'll hit up the library, do some research, maybe pick up a book on fluid mechanics....no, shhh. I'm supposed to be doing research for my social science class...maybe do homework, and try not to think about rewriting my whole schedule.

I think that's why I'm feeling the coffee right now. Or the cappuccino. Although...caffeine tends to increase anxiety levels, right? So do I really need it?

Yes. The answer is yes. Don't guess anything else.

But anyway, I guess today I want to talk about anxiety. Anxiety, and impatience, and pretty much everything that falls between. Because when it comes around, it tends to rule over everything else for a while. Which is not only unenjoyable, but rather crippling as well. If I'm anxious, I don't get things done. If I'm anxious, my mind doesn't focus like it should. I find my thoughts wandering, and I find myself paying less attention to the people and the things that I should.

I don't know if it is like this for everyone. But I know it's a dangerous place to be, and it's a vicious cycle. My mind will wander to other things that make me even more anxious and impatient, and I begin wishing my days away for fear of what staying too long in one of them will do.

If I'm anxious about something, more often than not, the something doesn't get done. Which is why I really want to focus on contentment, not anxiety. Patience, not impatience. Peace, not fear. That takes work, and it takes a flip-flop of perspectives. And as easy as it may sound in little tiny text on a little tiny computer screen...it's just not.

But it is possible. And it's my goal.

So today, I'm going to try not to worry about what may happen with my schedule, or what may happen with my classes this semester, or about the little tiny thoughts that continually lurk in the corners of my brain, telling me to worry about things I shouldn't worry over.

Happy Thursday, my friends, and you go get 'em today, you notebook paper pillowcases.

Tranquil Fireworks

WHAT UP? Wowzerz, you're back! I'm impressed...truly, I am. And I'm also impressed at how utterly fantastic you look today...I mean it.

Today, I just want to speculate on how spectacular universities really are. And not any specific university (though I have to say mine is pretty great), but just the idea of universities. It is an institution that is completely dedicated to learning, and the expansion of knowledge. It's amazing.

Yesterday, I spent the (rainy) afternoon in the library, and while I know the size of libraries is relative to each school, the vast expanse that a library covers is incredible. I walked through three floors of shelves upon shelves upon shelves of books. The book-lover inside of me tears up every time I walk through said shelves.

There are gorgeously in-tact old books, records, beat-up research journals, encyclopedias, new books, physics books, philosophy books, women's rights books...anything you want. It's there. And it's incredible.

I was doing research for a particular paper for one of my social science classes, but I found myself wandering into the physics section for much longer than I intended. But there is so much knowledge, right at our fingertips, with these books. Thinking about each book, each of the thousands upon thousands of pages, everything on the pages...I found myself wanting to pick up anything and everything, wanting the hours upon days upon years to read all of it.

All right, so I know this looks like a Library Appreciation post...I guess it is. But it's also an Exploration Appreciation post. Because there is so much out there in the world to learn and love. So many things for so many people to have passions for...and so many topics to explore.

I also attended a lecture yesterday, given by an archaeologist, on his journey to the Middle East to excavate sites dating back to the Iron Age. The talk was fascinating; his team was so dedicated to what they were doing, that they were able to find artifacts and leftovers from the past that were barely a few centimeters tall. They were tiny clumps of dirt that ordinarily, someone like me would just look over and assume nothing.

But when they ran the dirt from this sight through a sift, they found these little bitty things. And from five pieces of dirt, no larger than a penny, they were able to begin unraveling history, just a little bit more. These tiny pieces are like tiny history books, telling what went on where, and at what time.

I guess there's no over-arching moral to this post-well, you could find one if you tried. But mainly, it's just to note how much we can learn from anything around us, if we take the time. And to note how awesome that learning is. It blows me away to think about what a person can do with what they learn, what people they can help, what discoveries can be made.

I hope you can take a moment to explore today, Tranquil Fireworks, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Panoramic Bowling Pins

Hey guys! What's happening?!

I'll tell you what's happening here because it is extremely important and extremely exciting and I don't think anything can kill my vibe for the next few hours:

IT
IS
WONDERFUL OUTSIDE. It was sunny a few hours ago, but I think clouds have rolled in now. That doesn't stop the fabulous temperatures however, and I did get to enjoy the sunshine this morning. Which is great.

Today is one of my shorter days for classes (I only have two...WOOH), so I have a little bit of down time in the afternoon. I hope I get the chance to eno, maybe read a book, but I'll probably be writing a paper, or doing some physics (woop woop). But thankfully, the end is in sight.

I think there are about three and a half weeks left of actually class time, and then of course final exam week...which I may or may not live off of coffee throughout...but that is simply insane. My first year at college...boom, gone. Crazy.

It's had its ups and downs, but my goal from here on out this semester is to make as many days as I can up-days. It can be hard, sometimes, when you're stressed out or exhausted or down about something or other, to make the day and up, a highlight. But I'm going to try to stay positive, to take the low's and keep plowing forward. Because what else can you do?

What else can you do when you've hit the bottom? You can only climb, and that's what I intend on doing. I'm going to climb, whether I think I have the strength, or not. Because if I tell myself I'm not strong enough, I never will be. But if I tell myself I am, then there is hope. And that's what keeps us going.

I've been praying a lot lately for contentment, even in times of stress, but not just for me. For the people around me, because I feel like we are all running into sort of the same problem. It can be overwhelming, when you try to keep climbing as rocks get tossed down on either side of you. But I know that God is there, holding us up, keeping us from falling all the way down.

Sure, I'll slip. And yes, I may get hit a couple times, but I'm going to climb no matter what.

So I hope you can keep climbing too, you panoramic bowling pins. I believe in you.

Chamomile Paperclips

Happy Monday, once again. Oh, Monday...

Hope your week isn't too rough already, and that you're prepared to face whatever gets thrown at you today. I know I'm a little bit less prepared than I should be to get back to classes today, but I'm as ready as I'll ever be...even if it's Chemistry at 9 AM..

Yesterday on the way back to school, I was flipping stations on the radio after listening to the same mixed tape for the second time, searching for whichever ones weren't static. After a few heart-wrenching minutes of pure static and crunchy, broken melodies...I found a station (that wasn't country) that I could listen to.

I began singing along, because...that's pretty much all I do during road trips...But as I was singing, loudly mind you, I saw the driver passing me on the left turn around, meet my eye, and start laughing. When she passed, I saw a sticker with my school's name on the back of her car, and I couldn't help laughing, too.

I go to a fairly large school, so it didn't surprise me that I didn't recognize her. But the little moment brightened up my trip, and I kept singing as she disappeared down the highway. I don't know if she was laughing at me, or with me, but I would have done the same thing if I saw myself (I have no rhythm, no singing skills, and no dancing skills).

I like road trips. A lot. I like watching cars pass, trees zoom out of my field of vision, counting cows, jamming to music, laughing at funny road signs. So if you see me in my car somewhere, you'll probably laugh, too. Because I usually look pretty funny.

I'm getting ready for classes this morning, and it is about to POUR, big time. I can hear thunder even as I type from my dark dorm room...oh, there's the rain. And as time is passing, I'm realizing I should probably start getting my things together. But this morning, wherever you are headed, go ahead and jam out, even if it's in the rain...or in your car.

I hope you have an excellent Monday, and sorry for such a short post! But stay cool, you chamomile paperclips.


*********ALSO TWENTY ONE PILOTS RELEASED A NEW SONG/VIDEO************
*********************GO NOW HURRY IT IS FABULOUS*************************
************************IT'S CALLED TEAR IN MY HEART***********************

Pastel Bamboo Plants

HAPPY EASTER!

Happy Easter, my lovely lucky Pastel Bamboo Plants! I hope today you have been reminded of just how great and how plentiful God's love for us really is...and that you have been reminded of the joy and freedom that is wrapped up in the promise of the cross.

I go to a small church in my hometown, Harvest Christian Fellowship, that is a fairly new church. My family and I have been there since the start of it a few years ago, and for the last few months, when I am home from school, I play a very small part in our worship team: I control the keyboard (mwahaha).

When I play, this requires getting up a little bit earlier than usual, which I usually complain about...but in reality, it's not that bad. And every week, by the end of it, I'm always super glad that I did wake up a little bit earlier, drink my coffee a little bit faster, and make my way to the church before the rest of my family.

It's amazing watching everyone in the band as they play, because it's clear that none of it is for us. We certainly aren't playing for our ears; we aren't even playing for the church's. It's all worship, and it's all praise, and it fills me up inside when we play...because it's ALL for God.

Today at church, I felt extremely full inside, because...my church family is definitely like a second family to me. I went to a bonfire with some of the kids from our youth group Saturday night, and as we were sitting around the fire, I realized how important each one was to me. I have been blessed with a church family that truly cares about and is invested in each of its members.

As we played today, and laughed at each other, and reworked songs, and dropped guitars, and adjusted microphones, I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't help but smile because I had found another piece to give a name to. Another piece of the puzzle that I'm working on. And all of these people make up that piece.

Like a good friend mentioned last night, I feel like my bunnies and turkeys are getting mixed up, because today I feel an overwhelming sense of thankfulness on this Easter Sunday. I'm thankful for a lot of things, but I have to be reminded...and Sundays are definitely good reminders of what I am thankful for, and what is important to me.

And being in the band has taught me something important: sometimes, you have to get yourself together and just keep playing...even if you have no idea what is going on. Because thankfully, you aren't the only one playing. There are people there who are going to keep going, to play loud and clear over your mistakes, and turn it into a continuous melody. When you forget where you are, play an off note, slip out for half a measure, the song goes on because the band goes on.

We aren't One-Man-Bands. And that makes the day just a little bit easier to face.  So today, I just want to let all of you know that I'm thankful you've let me join your band, and that you are a part of my life, even if it's just reading my blog.

Keep playing, you lucky pastel plants, and have a wonderful rest of your Sunday.

Hazelnut Piano Keys {Saturday Song List Edition}

Hey guys!

I'm sorry it's so late; it has been a crazy Saturday here. A crazy Saturday filled with pancakes and enos and bonfires and everything in between...But it's Song List Saturday which means you get to jam out to some tunes...in the middle of the night. The best time to listen to music.

1. Blame It On Me- George Ezra

Yes, George Ezra has made the list again (before 21 Pilots...who knew??). This is another very mellow song from this very mellow singer. His voice is so unique in that he sounds so British when he sings...and it's wonderful. This song is just as good as Budapest, maybe a little more upbeat. If you liked Budapest, you'll like this one, too....I hope. I've been jamming to it.

2. House of Gold- 21 Pilots

I couldn't hold back; I just love Tyler and Josh so much. This is one of their more mellow songs, too...but it's very interesting. It sounds like it's mainly a ukulele playing and Tyler singing over it. The song is about moving forward in life, but still missing home and all sorts of nostalgia--or at least that's how I take it. Anyway...go listen to it. Go listen to all of Twenty One Pilots. They are fabulous.

3. Stolen Dance-Milky Chance

This one has a really nice beat, and the bass is AMAZING, if you would like to turn it all the way up in your car. I'm talking bumpin' bass....it's great. The artist who sings it is actually German...which gives the song a nice flavor. It does make me want to dance, whether that dance was illegally acquired, you know ...stolen...Sorry. Anyway, I love this song, though I haven't looked up anything else by the artist. But I hope it's just as good.

So there are my three songs for the day, -er...night. Hopefully you can listen to these either tonight or tomorrow, or some time this week, because they are all pretty great songs.

Tomorrow is Easter, which is always exciting. Christ is Risen. And that is a peace I needed to remember today. I've been so busy all day, and I haven't taken any quiet time yet, which is actually what I need more than anything during my day. Quiet time to reflect on God's love and God's grace. Tomorrow is the most perfect reminder of His love, and His power...our King conquered death so that we don't have to...and that is amazing.

I hope you all have an excellent evening, if you are still awake, and that you have some sort of quiet time tomorrow to remember how amazing our God is.

Goodnight, my Hazelnut Piano Keys.

Fiery Cappuccinos

Hey guys! You are looking FABULOUS today. I mean, not that you aren't always...but you just look really nice today. I hope your Good Friday has been good, and that you've taken some time to think about why it's good.

Today has been good for me. It included homemade macaroni and cheese, which was quite an adventure in itself, but I have to say it tasted pretty good. But soon after, my sister and my dad and I settled into an afternoon of listening to music and painting and talking.

We talked about physics, and music, and painting, and computer programming....about how many times we had been around the sun, about how many days we had seen (my Dad was pretty excited to know he had lived over nineteen thousand days), about how many more days my father had seen than we had (thanks, Dad), about hair color and humor, about whether or not painting your entire hand with acrylic paints was good for you...Okay, yes. I may have painted my entire hand a kaleidoscope of colors. You should try it; it's fun.

It's fun until you try and wash it off, I guess. It requires lots of soap, and lots of lotion.

Maybe you shouldn't try it.

Anyway, I was working on a painting for a good friend of mine-a really good friend-and I was reminded how much I love painting. I haven't had the chance to paint every day like I did in high school, and I have to say I miss it quite a bit. I like watching the palette turn different colors, and get mottled and mixed and almost begin to look like a piece of art itself.

I like watching a canvas turn from stark white, to toned and smooth, to sketchy outlines, to blocks of color, to finer details. I like watching it come together; that's my favorite part (minus the part about painting all over myself...that's fun, too. But I already covered this).

There are few things that are as fun as painting on a rainy day, with thunder booming and water sloshing as you wash brushes. And whether I am a good painter or not, it's something I enjoy. As we were talking about wisdom and days and time and physics, my mind started wandering in its own direction.

Art is a piece of my puzzle I don't want to lose. Not necessarily making fantastic art, but just making art. This semester at school, we had a knight staying on campus...crazy, right? But anyway, this knight was a writer, along with many other occupations, but you could tell his passion was writing. And he said something that I'm still thinking about.

Art is. Sort of like my "Math is." statement from a few posts ago? He said that art is, and it demands to be discovered. Art needs artists to find it, to dig it up, to make it visible.

I haven't quite unraveled everything he said yet, but I feel like I need art just as much as he said art needs us. It is something important to me, and, like I said...a puzzle piece I don't want to lose. Today was good because I was reminded of how much I love art, and how much I've missed it.

My advice for the day is...if you love something, make it happen. Besides, if you've lived seven thousand days like me, why not spend at least one of them doing what you love?

But really, though. Do something you love, because it loves you, too.

Have an excellent Friday, you fiery cappuccinos.

Rose Petal Fence Post

Wow! Look, you're back!

Welcome back, my homies. Tomorrow is Friday, an important Friday. It's not your average Friday, because...it's a good Friday. And it's a good Friday because tomorrow is Good Friday. And boy, is that good.

I will save my Good Friday post for Friday, however, because I think that would fit better. Sort of like a puzzle, I guess. 

I want to talk about puzzles today. Specifically my puzzle. The one I keep trying to put together, but the pieces just feel like they are getting pulled apart at a much faster rate than I'm putting them back together.

I suffer from this terrible disease known as regret. Regret and fear. I know you aren't supposed to look back, each day is a new day, and dwelling in the past is never helpful; but I can't seem to get it off my mind.

If I look back on my past, I see a picture. I was who I wanted to be, for a short time at least. I had a name, and my name was me. I had an identity, and, despite it's flaws, I felt a sort of wholeness. Not completeness, but I had a pretty good idea of who I was.

Since then, I feel like so many pieces have been knocked out of place. I feel like whatever picture I had before, whatever identity, has sort of been dashed to the dust. I am undecipherable now; unreadable. I don't feel that wholeness...I feel scattered. A bunch of scattered pieces.

And I feel like I've moved from offense to defense on my puzzle; rather than getting further along in my work, I'm protecting what pieces I have linked together now, for fear of losing anymore. For fear of breaking some other expectation set for myself, for losing one more piece that makes me me.

Staring at a bunch of scattered pieces is daunting, let me tell you. It feels impossible when you are starting out, even if there is a team of pro-puzzlers behind you, especially the big, several-thousand piece puzzles. Maybe a puzzle of a stormy sky, or field of grass. All just a bunch of different shades of one color, mushed together. Indistinguishable.

If I stay scattered forever, I'll go crazy. But fitting it all back together could drive me just as insane.

As much as I want a whole puzzle, there are things I need to remind myself of. First and foremost, I am imperfect. By definition, I can't be perfect, and I never will be. I am human; I am a sinner. I can never be perfect just as God can never be flawed. No matter what good deeds I do, or how "good" I act, I am never "good" enough to outweigh the power of sin.

I lied, maybe today is my Good Friday post. Because the second thing I need to remind myself of, is that I don't have to outweigh sin. I don't have to because that Friday was so Good. I don't have to because there is something else outweighing my sin, something far greater, far more whole, and far more perfect than I ever could imagine: Jesus. His death tipped the scales in my favor.

Boy, am I undeserving. That a Perfect Being would give up everything to take on every wrong I've ever done and wear it like a blood-stained cloak? That the definition of Perfection would take on death so that I don't have to be perfect? Incredible and indescribable.

So incredible that I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it. Why would He do that for me? What have I ever done that is worth that price? Because His Love is that Good.

It's hard to picture all of that when you feel so incredibly disappointing. But it's true, it's always been true, and it always will be true. God loved me before I was born, before anyone thought of me, before Adam and Eve ever left the garden. The plan had been set long before I arrived to the scene. I am a work in progress.

I may be going in the wrong direction right now. I may be so far gone, that it seems impossible I'll ever find the road again. But the road to salvation is there, and there is a Light that will guide me back. There is The  Pro Puzzler holding all my pieces right now, and He's putting them in place on His timing, not mine.

I am not who I was, but I know I'm not who I'm going to be forever right now. I am a work in progress.

I am a puzzle in progress.

I love you, Rose Petal Fence Posts. I hope tomorrow is truly Good, and that you spend just a few moments remembering how Good it is. 

Freeze-Frame Cactuses

What's up, Wednesday? I know, I know..it's late. I promise I had intentions of posting early, but it has been such a hectic, stressful day that the blog post kept getting pushed further down on the things-to-do list.

It's been a rough week, but it's over. I'm welcoming Easter break with OPEN arms this year. I had to drive through "hail" to get home. Like literal hail. I couldn't see the road for a good twenty-thirty minutes.

Which is shocking, considering the whole way home, up until the very last few minutes, it was gorgeous, sunny, and hot. The sky was blue, the road glowing gold in the bright sun, and the clouds floating through the sky like perfect masterpieces. And to top it off, when I first started driving, there was a tiny, yellow crop-duster soaring in the distance.

As I came up on this little plane, I saw it swooping way down low across the road, almost touching and then swerving back up as soon as cars got close. Then, after flying a distance, it would swivel around and repeat the process, tearing through the blue sky.

And as I was staring at it, I wanted to be up there, soaring through the clouds, rather than being stuck down here. The whole ride home, I couldn't stop thinking about that crop duster, and how I wanted to be in that plane. Doing loop-the-loops through the air, spinning upside-down, swooping over the roadway and zooming away with barely a second to spare. Free. Forgetting all my troubles and forgetting everything tying me down.

But when I got home, and saw my sister, I completely forgot about that crop-duster (until now I suppose), because I haven't stopped smiling since I got here.

I know this is a short post, but it's got pretty much one purpose:
To say that, no matter how hard it gets, and how much I think I want to be zooming away, I can remember this moment....and not give up. Stick it out, through the end. Because that is what I am made to do.

And to remember, that, despite the stress of school, and despite different worries, GOD is so much bigger. If you get a moment, look up Psalm 46, and just think about that for a minute. A friend sent it to me, and it really made me think.

It's amazing.

So have a wonderful evening, freeze-frame cacti.