Extraordinairy Lunch Boxes

Hey guys. Looking good today.

So tonight at church, testimonies were shared, and, even though I didn't have the courage to get up and speak, I figured this is as good a place as any to share mine. 

I grew up in church, from day one, and my parents were always encouraging from the start. They both took turns teaching Sunday school classes, were both involved in the church...the whole nine yards. I grew up believing in Jesus, told every week he died for my sins, that He was forgiveness. And I believed it, but I don't think I completely understood. But I was okay with that, and I floated through the years without any huge stumbling block or struggle.

A seed was planted, but it hadn't had the chance to grow much. But it was definitely there. 

Between my sophomore and junior year of high school, I have to say I fell. I fell hard, and things didn't look like they were ever going to look up. I felt completely lost, empty, with no reason to move forward. 

I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I didn't talk to people. My trust felt betrayed, my mind felt mangled, and I felt manipulated. I didn't know why I was going forward each day, and I certainly didn't know how God fit into the equation. If He was so powerful, why did I feel so broken? 

And that's when the conclusion hit me; that because I was broken, because I was empty, because I felt so lost, He covered it all. That's why Jesus died for me, that's why He took on pain and suffering. 

For me. So I could be strong, even in my utter weakness. Because He would always be stronger. 

I felt like a new person. I had been truly saved. It was at church one night my senior year that it clicked. We were doing a lesson about forgiveness, and there were these slips of paper we were supposed to write our fears and faults on. I remember writing mine with tears in my eyes. I remembered the brokenness. 

And then we painted over them. 

And then we nailed them to a little wooden cross. 

And they were gone. He covered them, and it was a beautiful picture. 

Recently, those lost, worthless feelings have been hitting again. Some days, I feel myself slipping, just like I was in the past. 

I have this friend that knows everything I am going through, and recently, in a night of darkness and fear, I told her I felt like a failure, and that I wasn't the kind of person I ever intended to be. But she told me something important. 

"There are only two kinds of people. Lost and saved."

That's all she said. But I got it. I still am reveling over it. 

I am NOT lost; I have been saved. 

I can't be lost again, because I've already been saved. And nothing I can ever do can steal that salvation. No matter what direction I take, Jesus accepts and loves me BECAUSE I accepted and loved Him. All I have to do is trust Him. 

And what a beautiful picture that is. 

I know I rambled quite a bit, but I felt it was important to share. And I don't know if I said everything I intended, or if it made complete sense, but it is written from the perspective of a Saved person, and no matter how far I stray, I will never be lost. 

I love you guys, and there is someone much greater than me who loves you too. He always will, and his name is Jesus Christ.